DCist Interview: David Cross

Photo by Marina Chavez.

Whether you know him from Mr. Show, Bob and David, his stand up, Arrested Development or one of the million other beloved things he's done in his career, David Cross has whipped up a wide and rabid fan base. He released a book earlier this year, I Drink For A Reason, and is visiting the District this week. Cross recorded 2004's amazing It's Not Funny during a 4-night stint in D.C., so we can keep our fingers crossed for more comedic heights on Wednesday night at the Warner Theatre. Tickets are still available for $33.

How did you celebrate Columbus Day?

I rent a large bus and I have some friends on it, and we drive from Columbus, Ohio, to Ann Arbor, Michigan. That's pretty much how I celebrate it every year. Been doing it since I was a kid.

So like a recreation of the original Columbus voyage.

Yeah, with just a little more death. I try to enslave a couple ten-year-olds, sex slaves, to commemorate what made him such a great explorer.

And the disease? I assume the disease was good.

It was okay. I had to settle for Epstein Barr. It's not as sexy a disease.

Is it okay to celebrate Columbus Day?

Sure. As far as I know, it isn't against the law. In fact, I think it's a federal holiday. So it is okay.

You don't think there's anyone more deserving in U.S. history for a federal holiday?

Well, he's not even in United States history, really. But yeah, of course there are. Pee Wee Reese. Tommy Lasorda, if you just want to stick to Italians. James Gandolfini. Pavlov—he's not Italian. The guy whose nickname was the Rabbit in the movie, Salesman. I think he should have his own holiday before Columbus.

You're not naming enough Yankees for some of my Italian friends.

I don't like the Yankees, so I will not be doing that.

Did you follow the coverage of the 9/12 protests?

Yeah, absolutely. I'm now past the dismay and frustration and now just find it purely entertaining. I wish they'd have more of them. I'm just a huge fan of misspelled, gramatically incorrect hyperboles.

And Glenn Beck in particular, he's doing a great thing in this regard.

He's a pure product of America. He's a clownish, reactionary performer. He knows what he's doing. I truly believe he is very self-aware of the act he's putting on.

Who do you take it in a fight? A 9/11 Truther or a Glenn Beck-style Teabagger?

A Glenn Beck-style Teabagger.

Why's that?

I think they're more prone to violence. The 9/11 Truther would be more awkward in a fight. I think the Teabagger has already been in fights.

Since we have Halloween coming up, I need to tell you that I'm a huge admirer of the benefit song, "Do They Know It's Halloween?" Was recording that the coolest thing ever?

No, I think the coolest thing ever was when I was on this completely enclosed water slide in Thornton Park in Pennsylvania. That was the coolest thing ever.

Did you get to meet any of the bands who were on there?

No. I'm pretty friendly with Steve McDonald, one of the producers, and Nick from The Unicorns. I was in LA to put on a movie, and they called and said, Look, I know you don't have much time, but can you swing down and do this? It was in Echo Park or something like that. I just drove there. I was in and out in 10 minutes.

Most of your audio work is like that?

Contractually, yes.

So what are you working on right now?

I'm on tour. That's why you're talking to me. And I'm promoting the book that I have. Then I should know in a couple weeks whether either of the two pilots I shot over the summer is going to be picked up. And if that doesn't go, then I will be taking a little bit of a vacay.

Could both of them be picked up?

Sure.

What are those projects?

One is a pilot for channel 4 in the UK. Another one is—something I can't talk about.

I hear someone over your shoulder yelling. Is that her saying don't talk about it?

No no. She just said to add that I wrote it as well.

The pitch for channel 4? What's that about?

It's called The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. It's bout a guy who is mistakenly thought of as a very good salesman when he's not. He accepts a job in which he has to head up an office in London, and he's in way, way, way, way over his head. He doesn't know a thing about it. He keeps lying—he keeps making poor decisions trying to right the previous poor decision.

Did you shoot the pilot in London?

Yes. It's mostly British cast and produced by a London production house.

What kind of crossover do you find in your standup material, the things you do on a tour like this, and the things you end up doing for a television show you're writing?

Virtually none. The shows that I've done, including the pilot, are characters and different stories. The things in my standup are me. It's anecdotal, it's my voice, it's opinionated. Virtually zero finds its way into the show.

What's your experience doing comedy in DC?

It's been good. The last CD was recorded in Washington. I haven't been there a whole lot. When I have, it's been fun.

Are you going to do any sightseeing? Tour the White House?

No. This is literally the last show on the tour. I'm going to roll in from Philly, do the show, and go straight home. I've been away for five or six weeks.

How long's it been since you've done the full, hard standup tour?

I think 5 years. I don't really have any stories. This was a much more comfortable tour than what I've done before. I've got a tour bus and support. I'm staying in hotels. Because of that, I just don't have those, you know, out til 4 in the morning, house parties, getting drunk with strangers. I'll do my show and go back to the room and watch sports.

Are you following anyone in the post-season.

Not since the Red Sox got swept.

What happened with that?

They lost three in a row!

Do you get a chance to follow politics and news from the road?

Not as much as I am able to at home. I've got a few hours a day. I can get on the internet and browse Web sites and see what's going on. There's very little TV watching.