Dating can be tough. You have to look nice, be funny, talk about things that interest you, but not talk too much. Or you can take a wholly different approach, and just be like this guy.
Overheard of the Week
On from the D2 bus to Glover Park:
Two nerdy early-20s Hill staffer guys are talking.
Guy #1: "I have a coupon to eHarmony.com. I think I'm going to do it, but just because I have the coupon."
Guy #2. "You can't waste a coupon. How was your date on Saturday?"
Guy #1: "I thought it went well, but in the end I just got the friend-hug goodnight. I even used my best move!"
Guy #2: "What's that?"
Guy #1: "I bought a copy of Street Sense. She was so impressed when I told her that I like to help the homeless help themselves by supporting D.C.'s only newspaper written by the homeless."
Guy #2: "Oh man, that is so classy, I'm totally using that!"
After the jump, the L'Enfant plan, kids being kids, and Mickey D's.
Ever hear something and think "hey, that should be in Overheard"? Send it in! overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com
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L'Enfant: What a dumbass!
On the Red line near Woodley Park:
Two 30s-ish moms with their kids in tow are talking.
Mom: "Now, did they build the city first or the subway; because it would make so much more sense to have built the subway first because of the tunnels and all."
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I'll have the awkward with cheese
McDonald's at 14th and U Streets, Sunday night:
A customer in baggy sweats and a puffy coat is waiting for an order, clearly under the influence of either drugs or alcohol.
A guy walks up to the counter and says to the customer, "Hey dude, wassup man?"
No response.
The guy takes a step forward, looks closer and says, "Oh... you a woman?"
She replies. "Uhh... yeah."
Him: "Oh. Right. OK."
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I wonder at what age that stops being amusing and becomes unacceptable
On the bus on 14th Street:
A mom with two three young kids gets on the bus.
Young girl, loudly: "Eeeew, you farted Simone! SimoOOone!! You farted!!"
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Yeah, D.C. is soooo weird. All we have are chickens.
On the S9 Express bus going north to Silver Spring:
A professionally dressed young woman is talking to a middle aged man in a suit.
Girl: "I don't get D.C. All I want to do is go back to raising rabbits. I like to raise rabbits and eat them."
Guy: "Yeah, I can understand that."
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That's what she said?
Two guys in their 20s at the Caps game, after the Caps narrowly missed a goal:
Guy: "Short by six inches. Story of my life."
Friend: "Word."
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New term of the decade!
At Friday's AC/DC show at the Verizon Center:
Two early/mid 20's women are talking from their respective stalls in the ladies room.
Girl #1: "Do you think all the women here were hot 20 years ago?"
Girl #2: (pause) "You're totally worried you're gonna grow a front butt, aren't you?"
Girl #1: "So that's a 'yes'?"
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I'm not sure if
Guy: "Short by six inches. Story of my life."
Friend: "Word."
OR
Girl #1: "Do you think all the women here were hot 20 years ago?"
Girl #2: (pause) "You're totally worried you're gonna grow a front butt, aren't you?"
Girl #1: "So that's a 'yes'?"
is my favorite this week. Excellent.
Which but was this on? the 52, 53, or 54?
Street Sense?? That boy needs some lessons. He should have bought or referenced a few Indigo Girls songs. If that failed, take her to a museum for a little "Man's inhumanity to man."
Wait. You're supposed to fart before you get on the bus?
"Front butt" is not a new term - but they're using it incorrectly. What they're referring to is actually called a "F.U.P.A." (fat upper *insert word depending on gender* area). Have those ladies check their local Urban Dictionary.
no..they're talking about a front butt. when you get so fat that your fat folds take the form of a butt.
definition 4 explains it the best
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=front%20butt
Oh, I understand. But "front butt" was always a way that I understood a vagina to be described to little kids, cause ya know, it looks like a butt and all.
FUPA, explained here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=FUPA is what I was referring to. And yes, we are all afraid of them.
I'm gonna stick with my personal definitions. But I know what they mean.
Frankly, I prefer "gunt".
Years ago in Brooklyn I had a long conversation with a beggar who I thought was a teenage boy but eventually discovered was a twenty-something woman. I was trying to get him back into school. So awkward!
Girl: "I don't get D.C. All I want to do is go back to raising rabbits. I like to raise rabbits and eat them." Guy: "Yeah, I can understand that."
Guys will agree with anything if there's even a remote chance of getting laid.
I like to braise rabbits instead
Oh, I totally agree. By the way, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
In my single days, I was known for my ability to feign interest in a woman's career.
"...it would make so much more sense to have built the subway first because of the tunnels and all..."
And we allow people this stupid to have children? Heaven help us.
On from the D2 bus? A mom with two three young kids? Come on now, we're perilously close to the Wiggum Line here...