Rep. Bachmann Staging "Thriller" on Capitol Steps

Rep. Michelle Bachmann, that balrog from the 6th Circle of Minnesota, has summoned her minions to descend upon the Capitol on Thursday, The Hill reports. What should our poor Hellmouth of a federal city expect? Invoking "every one" of Sean Hannity's viewers is probably a summoning feat too great for even an unholy overlord as powerful as Bachmann, but presuming that she is able to call up even a fraction of Fox's zombies, the city could be looking at a horde of 9/12ers large enough to seize the Capitol steps. What do they need (beyond braaains)? Freedom from health-care, or something! A suggestion for the visiting undead looking to fit in thematic evening plans: the Kurt Vile show at the Black Cat.