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October’s issue of Gourmet magazine asks six restaurant critics how they would spend a theoretical $1,000 on a meal for two in their home town. Tom Sietsema of the Washington Post is their go-to guy for the District. The spirit of the challenge would seem to be concocting a decadent meal or series of eating experiences that can fit into a reasonable evening and a reasonable stomach. Reasonably large, anyway. As do his peers, Sietsema takes liberties with the task, taking his theoretical companion—and readers—on a culinary tour of the city.
Sietsema starts out with tapas and sangria at Jaleo and moves onto appetizers, including a spicy duck kebab, at Bombay Club. We might still have some stomach space left. He reserves his big bucks for a $350 omakase dinner at Sushi Taro, declaring the revamped Dupont Circle joint one of the best restaurants in the city. We’d imagine being pretty full by this point. But a $400 meal at Obelisk is yet to come, and Tom even manages a shout out and a $50 check from Et Voila! along the way. And we’re spent.
The $1,000 question is a dream for your DCist’s food writers. While these critic’s meals are ones writers at big media outlets might actually get to enjoy on the company credit card, $1,000 spending sprees are not so much in our food and drink budget. But we can dream too, can’t we? Check out some of our staff's picks for our grand tours of the town. Commenters: what’s on your luxurious list?
Josh Novikoff:
I’m centering the night around CityZen and Eric Ziebold’s tasting menu, and of course I’m doing the wine pairings ($500). That’s sandwiched by aperitifs at Dino to whet the appetite and cognac Tabard Inn to get the stomach going again ($25 + $50). Transition to Old Ebbit’s Orca seafood tower with a few Rolling Rocks ($150) and I can burn some calories off by walking over to Co Co. Sala for a malted milk martini and a coffee or two to finish the evening ($50). But there’s still money to burn! Throw in all the vodka and caviar from Russia House that about $200+ can buy.
Jamie Liu:
About half of that amount would go to Komi - degustazione and wine pairing. Johnny Monis knows how to push my food happy buttons. Proof would be next on my list. Haidar Karoum's cooking fills my jones for Asian food, but with style and paired with darned good wine.
And I know that it's a spending spree, but I would still blow it on less pricey stuff and spread it out over a few days: Michel Patisserie macarons, banh mi from Banh Mi Sandwich DC, banh xeo at Ba Le, pho with soda chanh or iced coffee at Pho 75, falafel at Max's Kosher Cafe, drinks at The Gibson or Cork, burrata and prosciutto at Dino, gyros at Greek Deli, and trying everything on the menu at Bar Pilar. And of course to finish out any binge...$3 PBRs at Solly's followed by Ben's Chili Bowl.
Andrew Chriss:
I'd have to go to Komi and get their full on degustazione with a five-glass wine pairing. I'd also do an all-you-can-eat crab feast and beer either at Quarterdeck in Arlington or Captain Billy's in Popes Creek, Maryland (with some of the best hush-puppies you’ll ever have) and an arepa-fest at La Caraquena in Falls Church.
Can't forget dessert...the chocolate lava cake at Chart House and chocolate peanut-butter bombe at Buzz Bakery in Alexandria (they need to put that back on the menu), a tres leches cup from Castro Bakery in Seven Corners, and mango bubbles from anywhere in Eden Center.
If that doesn't cover it—not to lame out on the parameters of the question—I'd use the rest to bankroll my home meat-smoking operation, hitting up a real butcher like Let's Meat on the Avenue in Del Ray or the Springfield Butcher.
Eddie Kim:
Following the rules of the challenge, I'd share a modest meal and pre-dinner drinks at Tabard Inn. Their menu of seasonal yet crowd-pleasing favorites has always exemplified simple and anti-garish dining in D.C.
But $1,000 to feed a pair of mouths? By most any measures that would be excessive. Instead, I'd load a bus up of friends and family and tour the city. Softshell crabs at Mark's Duck House, pho or bahn mi at Eden Center, Korean blood sausage in Annandale, pizza at 2 Amy's, frites at Amsterdam Falafel, tacos at Tacqueria Distrito Federal, cupcakes at Baked and Wired, Cuban-style coffees at Open City, and anything fresh at the Maine Ave. fish market.
Though, better yet, the most mouths could be fed with a donation to one or several of our local food charities, such as Capital Area Food Bank and Food & Friends.
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Room service: Clive Owen as entree, Daniel Craig as dessert. But then, I don't dream about food much.
He reserves his big bucks for a $350 omakase dinner at Sushi Taro, declaring the revamped Dupont Circle joint one of the best restaurants in the city.
For that kind of money, it better be one of the best restaurants. Not a fan of what happened to Sushi Taro, but I can't blame them for what they did to their menu.
With a grand, I'd do a bottle of Dom Pérignon Rosé 1995, the 9-course tasting menu at Restaurant Eve, followed by a nice 30-year-old madeira, and blow the rest on cocktails at PX. And whatever's left, I'd give to the homeless guy in front of Five Guys.
I was also going to recommend Restaurant Eve, but I would start with dual caviar appetizers at Oceanaire, followed by two dozen oysters. That's $200 right there.
I've been to PX and Eamonn's a couple times each but I still haven't been to Restaurant Eve. As an actual thought experiment I'm still waffling between going somewhere I know and ordering the whole menu, or trying some place I haven't yet brought myself to spend the money on. I've had the omakase at Makoto and spent a pretty penny at Sushi Taro before they redid it, but I can't imagine either compares to the omakase I had at Nobu Tokyo a few years ago.
Also, having done the full tasting + wine at Laboratorio del Galileo (and having subsequently slept for 14 hours straight afterward) I'm having a hard time coming up with any way to spend that much on food without feeling some of it would have gone underappreciated by the end of the night.
and the point of that article is...?
Levity in an otherwise slow news day.
700 miniburgers from Matchbox please.
extra onion straws.
extra ketchup.
jesus, the thought of spending $1000 on food is something that i'm never going to be able to legitimately contemplate in my life. it just some of the most crazy-ass mental masturbation that you can dream up.
i'm going to riff off of monkey's last recommendation, getting myself and my girlfriend a nice meal, then either giving the rest to a homeless shelter or finding a bunch of homeless guys and taking them out for a filling meal.
Mouse milk cheese and goldfish caviar?
DrewSTFU, you inspire me. Let's pool our money, buy $1,500 worth of goldfish caviar and have it delivered to Barton Seaver's front door via a flock of free-range carrier pigeons (what's their going rate? think $500 would do it?) which he can then butcher with his own two hands and serve as a "locally sourced" squab-goldfish surf n' turf special that evening. Whaddya say?
If carrier pigeon isn't available, I'm sure he can do something with this panda foot I 'found' in Rock Creek Park while walking my fishing cat the other day.
This project would seem to reward the most overpriced restaurants. Also, I liked this article better when it was called Brewster's Millions.
I bet you can lots of junk punches for $1000.
47 catfish dinners at Ooh's and Aaah's for me and 46 people, followed by 20 slices of their signature chocolate cake. you're welcome.
$200 for dinner x 2 at Cafe Atlantico, $800 for 2 bottles of Russian River pinot noir. Skip the minibar and all that hokey molecular gimmickry.
I might just go with 250 half-smokes at Ben's.
No bad, but you could save yourself a lot of discomfort, clean up, and the cost of a new pair of trousers if you went with 230 half smokes and spent the remainder on a case of Pepto.
CityZen's tasting menu is $500/person? The 6-course tasting menu is listed as $110 on the website. Of course, it'd be more with wine pairings, but $500?
Dinner for 2.
That, or food writers are notoriously outstanding tippers.
Ah...that makes more sense.
I am surprised that no one has suggested a thousand Jumbo Slices...
Breakfast at Tiffany's followed by a Naked Lunch and My Dinner with Andre. Also, chilled monkey's brains, Dr. Jones?
Silly boy. Monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in WASHINGTON, D.C.
You can get anything you want in DC if you know the right people. You can get a whale's pancreas if you wanted one. I can get you one.
I very much appreciate the clue reference, thanks for that!
I think whatever I did I'd have to end the night with $240 worth of pudding.
Aww yeah...you could get $200 worth of pudding...and that would be....alottapuddin
Where did you get $240?
that gives me an idea. maybe we should spend the money on muppets instead...
mNomeNa!
If it were $1000 for one person, I'd jump in a cab with a bottle of Chivas, head out to the Inn at Little Washington, have two appetizers separated by an aperitif of Patrick O'Connel's cucumber sorbet and a flute of Dom P, leave a reasonable tip, get back in the cab and try to be home in time for an evening with the Andy Griffith Channel. (If I'm not allowed to spend half on transportation, then I would bicycle or hitchhike to/from and have four appetizers and skip Andy Griffith because I would not get back in time.) (If I were not allowed to go to Virginia with the money, then would not participate.) Thank you.
Okay, I guess I'm going to be the nitpicker here. Below, the lead-in to Gourmet's feature:
Here’s the deal: We offered some of our favorite restaurant critics a theoretical $1,000 to spend dining out in their home city. In considering how they would use their funny money, which had to cover meals for two, drinks, tax, and tip ...
Despite what you guys seemed to think, nowhere does it say they must spend it in one place (or in as few places as possible), or even that they must spend it within a day. Even Ruth Reichl doesn't come close in NY, though she started with the obvious splurge of $700 at Per Se.
At least Jamie Liu got it.
since we are all dreaming up here, i would go to happy hour and buy $750 pbrs, save them, then pay a homeless dude $250 to chuck them at hipsters when they pop up after 1am
i can get behind this one too. this is inspired thinking. the commentariat can really think outside the box!
we can wipe up their tears with bloc party cds and the citypaper
cds? what are cds? hipsters only use vinyl, carrying around turntables strapped to the handlebars of their fixies (there's room for them, since they have no brake handles to get in the way).
oh shit you are right! they are going to come after me with their bike locks and iphones!!
I'd go to Ocean City and buy a boatload of Thrasher's Fries. And a box of saltwater taffy to take back to the office.
Does anyone want to go for some Cleveland Steamers?
I'd fly to NYC and get a GDMFN' decent pizza pie...Pizzeria Paradiso is a minor league racket!
I'd go to Dean & Deluca for a box of cerial, a pound of pasta salad and a cookie....that's about $1,000.
I'd grab a burger and blow the rest on booze and hookers.
One plate of whatever food they serve at Camelot.
2 vodka tonics
The rest is for tips for outstanding service.
How about that raw monkey brain I saw in Faces of Death when I was 13. Still scares the shit out of me, but at least I can say "Look at me!! I'm eating monkey brain!! I have $1000"
Crazy that you mention that.. I just found out today that video is fake. No more nightmares!