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Admittedly, it's been quite a while since I was in the lower level of Union Station, but I was pretty surprised to read in this Washington Post story that the Union Station 9 movie theater only finally closed on Oct. 12. Weren't we talking about this place shutting down over a year ago? I honestly didn't realize it was still open up until this month, but like I said, I really haven't been down there in a while. I'm sure regular denizens of the downstairs food court will happily tell me all about it.
Perhaps more interestingly, I saw absolutely zero news stories marking the official closing of the cineplex. Even today's Post story that alerted me to this fact was really about the plight of the National Community Church, which used to host services at the Phoenix Theatres venue. The church must now find a new home, which stinks for them. They also say they were only given six days notice, so apparently the shutdown was as much a surprise to them as the fact that the place was still open was to me.
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Speaking of Washington Post...no post on the new design? Or did I miss it? Maybe I am the last person to still read both the online and print edition. I would love to hear some feedback or a review of the new look. It is pretty major.
Yeah did they headhunt the former WSJ editor or something? Way to rip them off with the dot-matrix pictures
DCist editors don't read print.
or maybe there's just no reason to rehash what's been covered elsewhere ad nauseum
Their new font makes me feel like I'm reading Highlights magazine.
Well if they've been talking about closing the theater for over a year, it shouldn't come as a suprise to the church that it's actually, y'know, being closed down. Either way, good riddance to the Worst Theater Experience in Living Memory. Between the thermostat that never seemed to work right, the deafening conversations between patrons and the screen, and the ammonia-esque bouquet of ripe August hobo, the Union Station theaters are the reason why people pay thousands to build home theaters.
Seems fitting that the last movie I saw there was "W."
Pity, they could have built a bike station in there, WITH SHOWERS, for a few hundred thousand dollars. But then again, then we wouldn't have suck a cool looking showerless shack and a $4 million price tag. I guess we can count our blessings.
"suck" was supposed to be "such." HAHAHAHA. I think that may be my most telling typo.
Had they turned the theaters into 24 hour porn-only film houses they would still be in business. How about showing The Opening of Misty Beethoven for longer than the Foxchase had it?
If porn didn't work for the Biograph and the Key, what makes you think it would work at Union Station? No, their only economically viable alternative is to turn the place into "The Running Man" style subterranean torture gameshow that served Little Tavern burgers.
I once actually saw a 3D porn movie at the biograph.
Blonde Emmanual?! Was it a Saturday night? 91ish? I was there too!
Oh christ, I think you are right. All I remember was the line.
"Harry Balls? Harry Balls who?"
"Anyone he wants!"
I was in high school and went with some of my grown up college aged friends. I expected half a dozen old men in trench coats, and was pleasantly surprised that the theater was packed with collegish aged kids. I turned away from the screen just as John Holmes had his, ahem, grand finale into the 3D camera. It was pretty amusing watching hundreds of people in 3D glasses recoil in fear and disgust.
That sucks!!! Where am I going to go to have my loud conversations?
Chinatown?
+1
why, the metro, of course.
Only good thing about this theater was $5 movie Tuesdays! One of the other theaters should really pick up the slack on that.
It's a real loss to the cineaste community, since this is one of the last CHUD-friendly theaters in the District. If you live underground and set fire to manholes for kicks, you're pretty much stuck with the East Wing and Hirshorn, which is unfortunate as CHUDs aren't really fans of Italian neorealism, Ingmar Bergman, or any of the more violent Peter Greenaway films.
My one regret is never getting to personally set fire to the theater during a showing of "Madea Goes to Jail," barring the doors, and standing outside with a flamethrower waiting for anyone to get through.
i'd pay more than $5 to see that...
Quentin Tarantino made a movie with a nearly identical scene at the end. It was called Inglourious Basterds.
Yeah, it sucked, but it was the only movie house in the nearby vicinity. I've heard that they were occasionally showing Bollywood films in the end when they couldn't afford mainstream movies.
And screw the Theater Church and their "let's mix capitalism and Christianity theology" of which John Ashcroft was a member. The founder is one of the Schenck twins who are hyper-right wing zealots.
Going to watch a Bollywood movie seems like such a clever and amusing idea with your friends... until you actually find yourself trying to sit through a Bollywood movie.
Hate on John Ashcroft all you want. There was a time not too long ago when he stood up to Bush and his minions in defense of the Constitution from his hospital bed.
Re: Ashcroft
Do you think they'll put his glorious statue in front of the Capitol or just in the new visitor's center instead?
The Capitol would be fine with me, but they had better cover up his nekkedness. All kidding aside, Ashcroft saved our bacon... and in a heroic manner.
Mollywood!
I always wondered whether National Community Church services were regularly interrupted by loud commentary from the parishioners and teenagers throwing Jujubes.
Any news on what will go in the space that had been occupied by the theater?
The original plan discussed a year ago was to open up the space to more retail. Whether that means expanding the food court or putting in a few mall-style stores like what's upstairs, I don't know.
If they open up an American Apparel store I'll know where to find all the DCist boys ...
Show me an American Apparel store that sells clothes to fit Monkey! They don't even have Hawaiian prints!
Sorry, but AA doesn't carry striped body suits or velvet stirrup pants to fit the husky gentleman. I've already checked. They said to stop calling this number.
All the gay strip/sex clubs that were displaced for construction of the Nationals will reopen there. It is much more convenient for closeted Hill staffers, Congressmen, and Senators. Florida Congresmen will no longer have to explain what they were doing in the Minneapolis airport. "No, I wasn't there for sex. I was there for Sbarro."
Wow... way to muck up your scandals. Idaho Senators may have to take the Sbarro Sausage defense.
Oh yes, the Union Station theater, where the patrons considered viewing films to be an "interactive" experience.
Say what you want about "interactive experience", but that theater WAS the best place to see Tyler Perry movies.
The theater was gross, but the $5 Tuesdays were awesome. And it's right on the Red line. So convenient...
That's the only time we went to see Hollywood films was at $5 Tuesdays! (independent films at E St. of course.)
I hope another theater company fills the spot. Does anyone know who the new tenant will be?
Every other theater in the region is too expensive. ugh.
I was a convenient place and I also enjoyed the cheap Tuesdays.