Alexandria Residents Allegedly Having, Considering Sex

Photo by oddlittlebird.

If two sex shops are able to remain open in the relatively small Old Town Alexandria commercial district, someone must enjoy patronizing them. Yet Alexandria city planners proposed to ban further sex shops from opening in the historic district, according to ABC7. That decision that would have grandfathered in Le Tache but forced the more recently opened Lotus Blooms to close. Both stores are located on King Street. (Those links are potentially NSFW, especially if you work in Old Town Alexandria.)

The Washington Business Journal's Missy Frederick reports that the City of Alexandria’s Planning Commission voted 5 to 1 against new zoning regulations that would require sexy stores be spaced well apart in the OTA. Adult shops would have been prohibited from opening doors within 1,000 feet from one another -- lest a concentration of sexy-time accumulate in the Historic District, provoking strange new feelings in the bathing-suit areas of residents and passerby who stroll within its nexus. Sexy nexus. Sexus.

According to the reports, the board will consider further legislation to regulate what sort of tasteful smut you can advertise to curious yups. But you know what -- no hurry on that. There isn't any timeline for addressing what may be the most germane concern brought forward by Alexandrians: what these shops are putting in their storefronts. Only Planning Commissioner John Komoroske voted on the straight and narrow in favor of the original zoning amendment. The other five Commissioners are all naughtier, or more tolerant of free enterprise, speech, and the will of the market. Who has Old Town's best interests at heart?