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Morning Roundup: After the Snowfall Edition
D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty appeared on WRC/NBC4 this morning to take questions from Barbara Harrison on the whole cycling team police escort/WTOP brouhaha. The mayor actually did a pretty good job explaining himself to Harrison, noting (correctly) that his security detail has been greatly reduced since he first took office, but at the same time appearing contrite and promising to do away with the motorcycle escort during his training exercises from now on.
For a little different take on this whole saga, check out today's Loose Lips column in the City Paper, in which DeBonis wonders whether the mayor's personality shortcomings might have something to do with overexercising.
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Great, and now how about staying off Clara Barton Parkway, and maybe, just maybe, park your ass in the Wilson Building and get some work done!
This is what he told a Delaware newspaper over the summer, after completing the Rehoboth Swim/Run Biathlon: “It’s almost essential that I begin my day with an athletic release.”
Whereas most healthy Americans take care of their morning wood by "boxing the jesuit" in the shower, DC's Mayor starts his by causing traffic havoc. Is there any wonder that he's running an escort service out of his motorcycle police detail?
"...most healthy Americans take care of their morning wood by "boxing the jesuit" in the shower..."
*ptttthhhttt* Maybe those Americans who don't have crucifixes in their bathrooms.
Which goes a long way towards explaining America's steady decline from they day we abandoned the slop jar in favor of indoor plumbing. Damn you, Thomas Crapper! [slams head on commode, beats toilet with fist] You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you to hell!
Yay!!! We got one motorcycle escort off the street!! Whoo Hoo!! We are awesome!!
Power to the People, Baby!!!
Woodward and Bernstien are rolling over in their graves. Well, they would if they were dead.
I'm hoping he's learned his lesson and from here out just rides laps around Seagraves home with his new helicopter escort hovering above.
And stay out of Woolworths!
Fenty "appearing contrite?!!"
There's something you don't see every day. Swine flu is the only explanation.
Breaking news from Seagraves: Mayor Fenty stole a penny from 7-11 change up to pay for PowerBar.
"Sure the Mayor takes a penny. But has anyone ever seen the Mayor leave a penny? The WTOP I-Team investigates, after your traffic and weather on the eights."
"Up next, Lisa Baden sings showtunes that make you want to drive head-on into oncoming traffic."
Fine by her, as long as you have your headlights on when it's raining.
"noting (correctly) that his security detail has been greatly reduced since he first took office"
WTF? Fenty feeling a little safer in Washington now that the major concern is that the country's being run by the Anti-Christ? What a tool.
If only my Auntie Christ were running the country. Then the entire nation would have to pretend that we've been out of the country and that's why we haven't called to thank her for the amway care package.
Ditching the police escort is too little too late.
Come election time prepare yourself to be ditched you corrupt pos.
Sure, this sounds great now. But just wait until next week when we're arguing whether there's any relationship between the decrease in mayoral police escorts and the increase in lyrca-strangled hooker corpses clogging rush hour traffic. Then we can decide whether this is a sensible policy.
The strangled hooker problem will take care of itself in a second Fenty administration. I'm more worried about the goddamned spandex-clad squirrels. I don't know WTF those f**kers are up to, and I'm pretty sure one of them said something antisemitic to me. I said, "Hey, did you guys eat all the acorns?" and he said, "No, jew?" Not "Did you?" but "Jew?" So much hate in this town. It's getting to be worse than Hitler.
When problems overwhelm us and sadness smothers us where do we find the will and the courage to continue? Well, the answer may come in the caring voice of a friend, a chance encounter with a book, or from a personal faith.
For Adrian, help came from his faith, but it also from a squirrel. Shortly after his election, Adrian was hounded by the media and faced an overwhelming desire to buy new electronics before the general public. He had mounting money problems. But Adrian not only survived, he worked his way out of despondency and now he says, life is good again. How could this happen?
He told me that late one autumn day when he was at his lowest he watched a squirrel strangling hookers for the winter, one at a time he would take them to the nest. And he thought, if that squirrel can take care of himself with the harsh winter coming along, then so can I. Once I broke my problems into small pieces I was able to carry them, just like those acorns, one at a time.
+1...now, if you can just get a picture of meg white in that somehow...
It would appear that Fenty's stragegy on every single question in every single encounter with the press is to play dumb, but the truth is that he really is that dumb.
**golf clap**
He needs to go back to using that solid-gold sedan chair drawn by oiled eunuchs that the Sultan of Brunei gave him.
Is a sedan chair drawn or hefted? Either, I'm hoping it will be by Spandex-clad squirrels!