Updated Forecast: In Excess of 8" of Snow, Plus Wind
And Now, 10-20 Inches
Federal Govt. Closed Tuesday
Snowmaggedon 1.0 in Time Lapse
Good morning, Washington. As expected, Bob McDonnell thoroughly defeated Creigh Deeds in yesterday's race for the Virginia governor's office. Conservatives' efforts did well nationwide in general, in fact, with the exception of the tumultuous NY-23 race. Experts will be quick to tell you that election results during an off-year shouldn't be used to draw any broad conclusions... before wondering aloud whether there are any broad conclusions that they can draw from the results.
Metro Computer Systems Down: A power failure at a WMATA computer center has left a variety of Metro systems inoperative this morning, according to the Post. Bus fareboxes, MetroAccess booking, call centers, alert systems, and debit card purchases at farecard machines are all inoperative. On the bright side, the PA system in stations is also broken, so riders will at least be spared the constant inane messages demanding that they ask each other about their bags.
D.C. Sniper Asks Supreme Court To Delay Execution: John Allen Muhammad, the convicted D.C. sniper, is scheduled to die in just under a week. Now the Examiner reports that his lawyers have asked the Supreme Court to delay the execution while they consider whether Muhammad was adequately represented at his trial. Muhammad also has a request for clemency filed with Virginia Governor Tim Kaine, based upon the claim that he suffers from a variety of serious psychological and neurological problems.
Montgomery County Mulls Helicopters' Cost Versus Awesomeness: The Examiner reports on a dilemma facing Montgomery County: should anti-drug funds be used to fight dealers and treat addicts, or to start a helicopter program that could probably fight drugs but mostly involve having totally sweet helicopters. To be fair, the county already has the helicopters lined up, a donation from the military. On the other hand, the county is facing cuts to its police department, which critics point to as an argument against starting an expensive new program.
Briefly Noted: EHN pushing for D.C. attorney general district attorney... Monday's gym shooting may have been drug-related... Teens dead from apparent suicide pact... Former NSO director has heart attack while conducting orchestra... Montgomery County firefighters will start using foam to extinguish blazes...
This Day In DCist: One year ago Shaw got a dog park and Google Street View debuted in D.C..
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VA and NJ are now nationwide?...hell it isn't even Mid-Atlanticwide.
Well, Maine, too. But you're right, I've changed it to "in general".
I didn't get one phone call from either campaign, no flyers at my door, and my polling station was practically empty. Whatever the experts decide, this year's voting sample was not representative.
It sounds as if turnout was fairly low, at least in some parts of NoVa, but I for one felt inundated by flyers, robocalls, etc. In the last ten days, I averaged 3-4 campaign related voicemails per day on my home number.
...and my favorite robocall voicemail of the entire campaign season was from Biz Markie, urging me to vote for Terry McAuliffe.
I had no idea that the Governor of Virginia suffers from a variety of serious psychological and neurological problems. Good to know when I really need something.
Romeo and Juliet is a lot less poignant and romantic when it happens in Prince William County. Then again, that's pretty much true of anything in Prince William County.
Montgomery County would be better off just legalizing drugs. That way, the cops and the former criminals would get "high" together, eliminating the need for a helicopter in the first place. They could then join hands and sing "Kumbaya" or "Up, up and away-ay, in my beautiful, my beautiful helicopter gunship!" while smoking parsley sprayed with RAID and hallucinating wildly about Vietnam while making helicopter noises, fade to black.
The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!
You better believe they'd still need that helicopter, 'cause those Cheetos ain't gonna walk themselves over.
And that's where your helper monkey with the jetpack comes in. And how do you deal with skies blackened with jetpack monkeys spilling Cheetos and feces? That's the beauty of the plan. When winter comes, they all freeze to death.
god i'm disappointed by the vote in maine. guess this means the bigots can turn their eyes sauron-like towards DC's marriage efforts now.
God, America really is a worthless country.
Why not a organized boycott of Maine lobsters and scallops? The fishing industry is already reeling from the recession, but if they want to legislate from the Bible, then no mercy.
I'm a vegetarian - are there any other Maine products I can boycott? LL Bean? Plaid?
That's it. No more Moxie, maple syrup, or Humpty Dumpty Chips for me until my unrepentant sodomite brethren and cistern can experience and celebrate the soul-crushing ennui that is married life.
Worst chips of the North East
Wise
Humpty Dumpty
Circus Time (ME). Chips were not bad, but they had a scary Pennywise clown on the bag saying "Wicked good!"
I for one would like to see a federal law banning those little pine needle pillows with pictures of lighthouses on them that my grandmother used to love.
Glad to see you've moved on from just hating everything about DC to hating the entire country!
Forget country. This whole effing hemisphere is worthless. Nothing like in Australia, where the wallabys fart rainbows and every barbie has a koala roasting on it. In Australia.
Nothing like in Australia, where the wallabys fart rainbows and every barbie has a koala roasting on it. In Australia.
(Socks Monkey in the jaw)
Here in America we don't tolerate that kind of crap, Sir!
Tom: Correction, I don't believe EHN is pushing for an elected AG, but a DA. Those are two different things.
Sorry about that, and thanks. Sleepy fingers.
I am not reading too much into the Virginia campaign. The fact is that McD ran a much better campaign.
Yeah, I have a much better brand awareness of the new Angus Third Pounders and McChicken Sandwich than of either of these two candidates.
Is it just me or is NextBus not working as well? (At least not online, I haven't tried it on a phone.)
Nextbus was down this morning as well.
Yeah, it was. And my bus wasn't on schedule either, so I had to take the other route, which got me to work about 45 minutes late. Grr.
Eh, I usually get to work 45 minutes late when Metro is working just fine. Getting here on time is overrated.
Excuse me, Is that your blog?
Such small words...
Weak candidate + no financial backing + apathetic voters = VA plunged into Dark Ages.
Re: Mont County (which is looking better all the time), sure anyone can own a helicopter, but can they maintain it? Huh? Just look at your neighbor with that Ferrari...
I'm hoping that the Monkey Co. firefighters foam will be a Mango-Yuzu flavored one...
Fire victims will have a choice of two foams: lime or salmon mousse.
I'd like the swirl, please.
I'd like a choice of either Sweet Romance or Island Splash!
We're talking firefighting foam, not zodiac air fresheners. Now, get back in the Chevy Van, Liz. And that's alright with me.
John Allen Muhammad ... suffers from a variety of serious psychological and neurological problems...
What cure is better for said condition than a lethal injection?
So SCOTUS says it's illegal to force the mentally ill to take antipsychotic medication and go to therapy, yet arming the insane with firearms is something that must not be discouraged. But thank goodness the criminal justice system can take years to prosecute them after they've killed a bunch of people, so long as they're not lawyers. Then we execute them after a prolonged, expensive legal bout. Notice how lawyers were involved in every stage of this fiasco?
Now, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million lawyers killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.