Overheard in D.C.: Gift Giving
Gift giving can be tricky, especially for a significant other. It's got to be something they don't already have, and that's at a price-point appropriate to where you are in the relationship. You want to make sure you give something that's thoughtful and fun, but also something they'll use a lot. Unless you're these girls.
Overheard of the Week
At Urban Outfitters at Tysons Corner:
Two teenage girls browsing books.
Girl #1: "What about this book?" (Picking up a book about Kama Sutra positions.)
Girl #2: "What?! You can't buy that book for your boyfriend!"
Girl #1: "Why not?"
Girl #2: "Because what if he breaks up with you? He will use that book on other girls."
Girl #1: "Ohhh, I guess you are right."
Girl #2: "Never ever buy those books for a boyfriend. Always make them buy them for you."
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Dr. Spock's new book title
At Potbelly's on L Street:
Two bike messengers discussing the challenges of parenting.
Man #1: "Woo, those kids dealt you one hell of a card."
Man #2: "Yep, one hell of a card."
Man #1: "They dealt you the Ace of Spades."
Man #2: "They dealt me the Ace of Spades."
Man #1: "And you're the Joker."
Man #2: "That's right, I'm the Joker."
Man #1: "In handcuffs."
Man #2: "The Joker in handcuffs."
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Yum!
At Bistro du Coin on Thursday evening:
Girl, commenting on food at the table next to her: "I want to jump across this table and eat that man's sausage... but not in a phallic way."
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It's not a good sign when the homeless guy has better girl advice.
On the 92 bus:
Getting on the bus, a young man is hitting on a woman:
Man: "Well how can I get at you, girl?"
Woman: "I dunno, hit me up on MySpace or Facebook or my email."
Man: "Girl, do I look like I'm made of money? How you think I'm gonna get on the internet? Where do YOU got internet?"
Woman: "I got internet at my job! But for you - shit, I dunno, go to the library or something."
Conversation continues for some minutes, then the man gets off the bus.
Older, homeless man who had been sitting near them the whole time, turns to the girl and asks incredulously: "How that young [man] gonna holler at you when he ain't got no internet?!"
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Every year, dozens of District residents are blown off to their deaths
In Adams Morgan at a group open house:
Potential roommate asks if the Duke Ellington Bridge is safe.
Roommate with bewildered look: "Umm... it's windy sometimes."
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Overseen in D.C.?
In the guestbook at the Smithsonian American Art Museum:
One entry: "This museum is great, but the overemphasis on American artists is self-detrimental. In order for this museum to be credible it needs to have more representation from European artists."
Next entry: "That's because its the AMERICAN art gallery, douche-face."
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Yeah, like the Hooters and Starbucks.
On the Yellow Line Friday night at Gallery Place/Chinatown:
Girl to other girl: "Isn't it funny how when you get to Chinatown everything is so much more Chinese?"
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Put that on your job application
On the D4 bus:
Man on a cellphone: "You gotta get that done every 100,000 miles. No, not 250,000! You don't have to go to school to learn that, you just gotta watch TV!"
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Good question, Magellan
At Stetson's, 12:30 a.m. on Friday:
Drunk guy challenging another drunk girl: "Well OK, what about America? Is America in the Eastern, Central, or Western Hemisphere?"
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Not sure what Jared would say about this
At a Subway in downtown D.C.:
Customer: "I'd like a footlong vegetarian sub on wheat, please."
Subway employee: "Cheese?"
Customer: "Yes, I'll have 24 slices of provolone."
Subway employee: [pauses] "I'm sorry?"
Customer: [slower and louder] "TWENTY FOUR SLICES OF PROVOLONE."