DCist Goes Curling: Ask Me, I Rock
Let's clear some things up, eh? Alright. Curling -- which always takes its place every four years alongside speed skating, moguls, and other sports that Americans, without any sort of contextual knowledge, obsess over for two weeks during the Winter Olympics -- is much more involved than you think it is. It is not like shuffleboard you play at happy hour, nor is it a game that you can do while drinking (at least, not that we recommend). Curling isn't a constant cardiovascular activity, like most popular American athletics; but you'd be hard-pressed to convince this writer that your hamstrings and your arms are prepared to go 10 rounds of sliding on the most slippery ice you've ever been on, occasionally throwing 42 pound rocks at a one-foot wide bullseye, but mostly balancing on one foot to slide down said sheets of pure cold while avoiding obstacles and vigorously sweeping in front of said rock while someone is screaming instructions at you like a banshee.
So mock if you must, but curling is hard.
"There's a lot of plan B involved in curling, you never really know what's going to happen," as one instructor put it. Yours truly got the chance to learn that first hand yesterday, inside the ballroom of the Hilton Garden Inn at 815 14th Street, the official hotel of U.S. Curling. DCist got an early peek at part of a big weekend for curling in the D.C. region -- the hotel and the Potomac Curling Club in Laurel, Maryland will be offering free, open curling demos to the public today and tomorrow.
Mary Ellen and Claire of the Utica (N.Y.) Curling Club, two ladies who would have been perfect for bit roles in Fargo, gave us a primer on the basics. Of course, it didn't really stop anyone from making a complete and utter mockery of the form. (Obviously, Claire's group demonstration of the Utica knee-slide flew right over our collective head.) Most members of the peanut gallery showed off a distressing lack of time spent working on the barbells; others were more successful -- but even in my limited experience watching the sport, I'm pretty sure that throwing the stone like a bowling ball probably isn't the best way to go.
Besides, it's possible to break a stone -- how, unless you possess the power of Lou Ferrigno, I'm not quite sure -- but it's not advisable, as they run between $500 and $1,500. Fortunately for the media, there were the junior rocks, which weigh 8 to 12 pounds. (Not that, you know, I had to use them or anything.)
"There's a lot more involved in curling than throwing stones down the ice, it's a lot harder than it looks," said John Rish, general manager of the hotel, who certainly proved that by falling over in his dress shoes as he took the first throw. Rish wanted to do something fun during the Olympics, and thought -- hey, why not curling? "We contacted a couple people, Googled them," said Rish. "It's a very close-knit community. With two phone calls, we were talking with the CEO of U.S.A. curling."
So how does one get into this sport which is so popular north of the border?
"A good club will have instruction, and mentoring," said Mary Ellen said with a reassuring nod. "It's not important who you play in curling, but that you have fun."
Au contraire, Mary Ellen! Bolstered by a foolhardy confidence, your DCist sports editor heartily offered a one-end challenge to our fellow bloggers at We Love DC. Dave Levy -- who provides a short primer on the sport at his own blog, State of the Fourth Estate -- answered the call, and the first-ever DC Blog Bonspiel was on! The results, uh, did not turn out so well for us.
Man, now I know what benched U.S. skip John Shuster felt like earlier this week. To be fair, Dave had the hammer. When's my rematch?
Video shot by Eddie Kim.