The Real World D.C.: The Morning After, Pts. 10 & 11
I know, I know -- we missed last week's episode of The Real World D(upont) C(ircle). But to make it up to fans of the show and the faithful readers of our re-caps (all 17 of you), this week's installment covers not one, but two episodes. Yes, friends, I ran a reality show marathon last night, and as a consequence today I'm dehydrated, cranky and chafing. (If you want an Ironman experience, read all of our past re-caps and then this one. In one sitting. I dare you.)
After the jump, in full bullet-point glory, the roommates give Ty an ultimatum, Andrew gets a girlfriend and Erika plays a sad, lonely song about her time in D.C. And of course, no episode would be complete without...Wicked Liquid.
- Andrew down! Andrew down! Ty drunkenly pushed him off the front porch.
- The roommates run down to check on Andrew, who seems to have landed on his head and side.
- They're grabbing his head as they ask if he's OK. Really, did no one take even a basic First Aid class? You never grab someone's head if you think they landed on it!
- They take him inside and Callie calls 911. "Do not move him," says dispatcher. Well, a little late to not do that.
- Pretty much everyone is pissed at Ty, especially Emily. She's yelling.
- EMS shows up, and they take Andrew away on a stretcher with his neck in a brace.
- Josh is totally gonna write a song with Wicked Liquid about this. It's gonna be a hot jam.
- Emily is upset, and she keeps referring to Andrew as "panda." Butterstick would not approve.
- Andrew goes to GW Hospital, is let out the next morning with a neck brace. His discharge papers say that nothing was wrong with him, spare the "Acute Alcohol Intoxication."
- House meeting to deal with Ty. Will he stay, or will he go?
- Ty apologizes, Andrew accepts it and says everything's cool. So house meeting over? Not by a long shot.
- Callie is worried, Ashley disappointed, Josh thinks there are two Ty's, Erika doesn't trust him.
- He needs to seek help or stop drinking. Emily will make the final call -- will Ty have to leave the house?
- Andrew starts defending Ty: "If anyone should stay, it should be him," roars Andrew in some weird half-grunt, half-scream. Must be panda-speak.
- Ty promises not to get drunk in the house anymore. Ha! Loophole. He only said he wouldn't drink in the house. Nicely played, sir.
- Ty goes for an interview with the Caps. He looks sharp.
- Ty is wearing a tie. Get it? Funny, right? Whatever -- there's another episode-and-a-half of slapstick comedy coming your way.
- The Caps want to penetrate the Baltimore market, and since Ty is from there, who better for the job? I'll tell you who -- Jimmy McNulty, that's who. Or Stringer Bell. Maybe Bunk, or Bubbles. Yeah, I've watched The Wire. I know Baltimore.
- The roomies head to another pool party at the Capitol Skyline Hotel, but Ty awkwardly sits around drinking nothing but Red Bull. So instead of being drunk, he's hyperactive. Awesome.
- William, Andrew's younger brother, comes to visit. It's the sexual predator and his mini-me.
- Wicked Liquid is rehearsing in the house.
- They all head out on the town again, and -- gasp! -- Ty has a drink. Ashley catches him, but doesn't much care. Emily, on the other hand, is not happy.
- She reminds of the house meeting, he plays dumb. Ty claims there's a difference between how he drank then and how he drinks now. Time elapsed between the two? About 36 hours. People sure change fast, huh?
- After another night out, Ty and Emily have a fight about Ty's drinking. He denies ever having said he wouldn't drink anymore.
- Oh right, like there aren't 15 cameras recording every move in the house that couldn't be consulted on the spot to see what was really said.
- Emily says that if he drinks again, he's out of the house.
- Now Andrew and Emily fight. Andrew is defending Ty. Emily should know not to fight with pandas. They might look cuddly, but they eat people.
- OK, so I've noticed bottles of Sweet Leaf Iced-Tea everywhere in the house. Clever product placement, or did the producers make a run to Costco and comeback with nothing but 96-packs of the stuff?
- Andrew, the sexual predator panda, meets a woman named Andrea at a bar.
- She comes to the house, they hang out, but she doesn't stay over.
- The roomies head off to RFK for a D.C. United game, with matching United jerseys to boot! Our own Kyle Gustafson actually spotted this going down at the time.
- Erika isn't having a good time. She's pouting. :-(
- And no, they're not sitting with the real D.C. United fans, who would likely perform a ritual mass sacrifice and offer the dismembered bodies of the roommates to the soccer gods as plea for a victorious season.
- Back at home, Erika is still sad, and she plays some sad songs on the piano. :-(
- Andrew is getting ready for a date with Andrea. "All I'm good for is multiple orgasms," he says. "It's my lot in life."
- Andrew and Andrea go to Bodega on M Street. They make out right outside of the restaurant.
- MTV commercial -- "Only three episodes of The Real World D.C. left!" Believe it or not, I'm a little bummed. It's like Stockholm Syndrome here, and I've come to enjoy my Wednesday nights with my reality TV captors.
- No, I'm totally kidding. MTV could have fake blown-up the house after episode two and I would have been happy.
- Andrew and Andrea are in the hot tub, and she admits that she was once married.
- The roommates want to know if Andrew and Andrea are boyfriend-girlfriend. "Is panda getting tamed?" asks Emily.
- Double entendre of the day: Andrew says he should break it off "before it gets infected."
- Andrew admits that his Mom cheated on his Dad, and that's why he can't get close to women.
- Erika, Callie and Ashley head to Busboys and Poets for a night out. A singer/songwriter is performing, and Erika totally wants to be her.
- Andrew is sick, so Andrea comes over with a care package for him.
- Erika finds out she might have a job opportunity at NPR covering music. :-)
- Andrea is over again, and Andrew calls her his girlfriend.
- He's wearing a D.C. kickball shirt. How appropriate.
- More cutesy shots of Andrew and Andrea.
- "Stalker, I get that a lot," admits Andrew.
- Andrew jokes about them finding a place together, and Andrea gets a little annoyed. She tells Mike she's falling fast for Andrew.
- Interesting aside -- Andrea actually auditioned to be on the D.C. cast. Do you think she's being sincere? Was she a plant by the producers? We report, you decide. (Oh screw it, I totally think she was planted.)
- Callie goes to the East Potomac Park pool to take pictures for the Washington Blade. Erika is jealous and sad. :-(
- NPR turns Erika down. She's sadder than before. :-(
- Andrew is still torn over whether he's really into Andrea as his girlfriend or not. "Any guy that has a girlfriend has betrayed the race of man," he says.
- Andrea is doing a night with her girls, so Andrew hits the town with Josh and Ty.
- Andrew plays wingman to Josh and his beast, and they bring a girl home from the bar.
- They go into the confessional together. Andrea comes over. Drama! :-O
- Andrea finds out the other girl is over, but waits upstairs. The other girl talks smack on Andrea, but Andrew goes upstairs to see her.
- They work things out, and Andrew calls Andrea his girlfriend. <3
- Hey, what the heck happened with the betraying the race of men speech? I broke up with my girlfriend after hearing that and now you change your mind? Traitor.
- Erika is still sad, and she says she wants to leave the house. (This would be the second time she's threatened to bail.)
- Callie gets mad at Erika, telling her that she's not trying and that she's taking their friendship for granted. >:-(
- Damn, Callie's a good motivational speaker. Erika changes her mind, and I feel emboldened to lose weight, learn to play the guitar and follow my dreams of opening a small French bistro called "Je Ne Sais Quail" in the Bay Area.
- "No one is scripting us, no one is telling us what to do," says Callie, one of eight people who signed a contract telling them where to live and where they should go out, not to mention having producers greasing the skids for plum internships that the rest of us could only have wished for at that age. Yeah, you guys are free as birds, Callie.
- Erika decides to stay. :-)
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