Top Chef: Ur Doin' It Wrong (Week 12)

For the Quickfire, contestants were asked to pair food with wine. Not only is that very difficult, but it's also going to be tough for this Quickfire, since the guest judge is Dana Cowin, editor of Food & Wine. We quickly learn which contestants feel comfortable with pairings (Kelly and Angelo) and which don't (Ed and Tiffany).

There was also a mishap when Kevin decided to make a braised pork belly in an hour. That's a risky move even when you use a pressure cooker (as he did). Sure enough, close to time, the pork belly wasn't ready and he has to audible in favor of doing a grilled quail, which is a risky pairing with merlot. Another pairing that had us worried was Kelly's dish. Her spice-rubbed wild boar tenderloin would have paired beautifully with the zinfandel she selected, but the blue cheese emulsion she made felt like an odd choice. Blue cheese plays nicer with sweet red wines than big reds than zinfandel.

When time is up, Dana and Padma taste the dishes. Sure enough, Kevin and Kelly are in trouble with their unusual pairings. Tiffany's ribeye with shiraz (not adventurous, but classic) wins over Cowin as does Angelo's pairing of a riesling-esque white with foie gras. Ultimately, Angelo wins the Quickfire and a trip for two to London, which we're pretty sure he's going to sell so he can buy that visa his fiancee needs.

Padma also lets the contestants know about the location of the finale (Singapore) and they're all excited. No one more than Angelo, who says, "I feel Asian inside. I just tingle when I think about it." Really? That's just an insult to Asians everywhere, 'cause we cringe when we think about you, Angelo. He's really just gotten more and more bizarre as the weeks drag on: reading Tony Robbins books, praying to pictures of famous chefs, thinking $10,000 will buy a visa for his mail-order bride. At this point, it's just interesting to guess what he'll say next.

But before anyone can get to Singapore, the contestants had to make it through this week's elimination challenge. To find out about it, they travelled to the Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland. There, the contestants learned that they will be making food for astronauts -- meaning food to be freeze-dried. The NASA folks gave our cheftestants some guidelines -- telling them that items with a high sugar content don't do well and that smaller pieces of food are also easier to freeze dry.

With these guidelines, the chefs prepared to create dishes to serve to the judges and a panel of NASA scientists and astronauts and, most awesomely, Buzz Aldrin. Most of the chefs decided to do ethnic dishes with bold flavors. Kevin opted to be different, choosing a comfort-food approach that he hoped would play well to the challenge of making meals for people who are beyond far from home.

There's only one real snag during prep when Tiffany's mussels -- which she was going to put in a coconut curry sauce to be paired with halibut and rice -- died in the refrigerator. But on the whole, the mood in the kitchen is quiet and tense as the chefs appeared to be taking the pressure to heart and really pushing themselves.

Once the food went out, it was apparent that it would be a tough judges' table. Pretty much all of the dishes meet with praise, and the only complaints are small. Perhaps the most entertaining part of the dinner was the constantly heckling of Eric Ripert by guest judge Anthony Bourdain. Always the cynic, Bourdain actually decided to be the genial critic this time around, giving Ripert a hard time for nitpicking about small problems with each dish.

After an uneventful service and what seemed to be an overall pleasant dinner, the chefs headed to judges' table. The best moment here came when Angelo talks about his glazed shortribs and how he felt like he took a submissive role and made love to them. Tom's reaction to this comment is one that lets us know he's with the rest of America in finding Angelo to be an insufferable douche. Bourdain just straight up tells Angelo, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Tiffany landed in trouble as her dish didn't wow most of the judges; a few of them felt the sauce needed more acid. Kevin and Kelly both got knocked for playing it a bit too safe. Ed's Moroccan-inspired dish received universal acclaim. Bourdain was a fan of Angelo's dish, while Tom seemed bothered by the candied ginger on top. The judges reach their "we know what we have to do" moment without any huge clues as to who might be going home -- for a brief second we thought they'd throw us a curveball and send all five to Singapore.

But that's not what happened. Angelo won the challenge for his lacquered shortribs, assuring him a spot in Singapore and a new Toyota Avalon. Because someone has to go home, the judges end up saying goodbye to Tiffany, which is sad. Your recapper really came to appreciate her positive attitude and "straight from the soul" cooking style.

So who was doin' it wrong this week? Well, Tiffany lost, so we could make a strong case for her. But she's just so great. So while we've never chosen the winner as doin' it wrong, this week we're going to change it up. Yes, Angelo's dish won over Bourdain. Yes, he's won a bunch this season. But he's insufferable, pretentious, and everything we dislike most about Top Chef contestants. And worse yet? He's going to Singapore where we're certain his irritating qualities will only be amplified as he cooks in Asia, his "spiritual home." So thanks a bunch, Top Chef, now we've got at least one more week of Angelo.