Safeway Employee Who Used Gay Slur Fired, Grocer Apologizes

It's not Safeway's fault, they had a limited pool from which to hire, and they scooped up some jerks, but she's gone now. All companies that require this level of help dread hiring in the District, as they certainly ain't getting applications from the college kid driving the bimmer his parents bought for him to get around in.

It's terrible gay people are making people lose their jobs and money because they were called out their name.  Celebrities and now local folks.  What goes around comes around!

She lost her job because of her actions. You can't call customers names while on the job. What went around came around for her - case closed.

I've been boycotting Safeway for years - because they suck. The stores are dirty, the produce old but, worst of all, it takes forever to get out of there due to the surliness/incompetence of staff.

+ a trillion on that.  I unofficially dubbed the Safeway in Bethesda on Bradley Blvd. the "Surly Safeway" when I lived there.  I think I went in there three times, and each time I was so put out by the service that I either left my cart in the middle of the aisle or (not proud of this move) my items on the conveyor belt when I saw the way the cashier was treating the person in front of me.  I've still yet to actually buy anything from there. 

(yes, I know it was a dick move, save your righteous indignation)

There are a lot of ignorant people in this world (present company excluded) but it's not unusual to expect management to listen to a customer's complaint, suggestion or comment.  This Safeway which I frequent has the worst management team and I hope they all get the boot.  

"It's not unusual to expect management to listen to a customer's complaint, suggestion or comment."

Were you born yesterday? And I ask this question without a hint of hyperbole.

Yes, I do expect that.  I also believe in rainbows, the fairy godmother and karma.

Get used to disappointment.

I've used that Safeway three or four times.  Each time I was struck by how the entire operation seems to be totally unorganized. 

I understand I guess the business need to check receipts when you leave, but they should try to understand that you need to have an employee that's pleasant and friendly at that station, not one that snarls at you and avoids eye contact.

Right, but arguably 'attitude' is not a problem confined to Safeway --it's a district wide problem. Go to the Brentwood Home Depot , the Giant or any other major business on any random day and you can get the same response.

However, Safeway condoning the behavior instead of combating it makes the problem worse instead of better.

Agreed.   Although I will say the carpet section of that Home Depot (insert lesbian joke at your own risk) is very friendly.  They even followed up with phone calls to make sure I got my carpet.

By and large, though, DC has a pretty big problem with customer service and retail folks being not so friendly.

To me it's pretty well summed up by the CVS at U and 8th (or so)..... They have a small parking lot.  The space absolute closest to the front door is marked Employee Parking Only.

That sortof sums it up for me. 

It's 8:00 in the morning and I have to get Sparky to see his veterinarian, but some time I would like to throw out the words "homophobia" and "homophobic" for discussion.

Having been taught the Classic Languages, the suffixes "phobia"and "phobic" are Greek for irrational fear (and one who holds this fear). Of course the terms have taken on a much broader meaning, but it has always bothered me from a Classical perspective.

Another time we can take on the words Gay and Straight but,
What are your thoughts?

OTR:   I've always felt uncomfortable with the overuse of the term homophobia.  Some people aren't afraid of gay people - they just think they are superior to them and don't like them.

And I do differentiate.   An 80 year old woman in the rural South is held to a different standard, in my book, than a 20 year old brought up in an environment where gay issues are pretty commonly discussed in school, in social groups, etc.

But that differentiation stops at some point.  Once there is actual vitriol, particularly in the form of action, my sympathy for you ends.

To me it's a larger issue.  Thinking you can treat anyone like crap because of who they are makes you a dick.   Doesn't necessarily make you afraid of them.  Just makes you a dick.

Having said that, there is something about The Gay - particularly when it comes to The Dude On Dude Ass Banditry - that a good many people (particularly men) are deeply and irrationally afraid of.  That fear goes beyond elitism or hatred - its actual fear.   I suspect that's a combination of some (but certainly not all) men being afraid they may like an Introduction to Butt Piracy in the privacy of their own home, administered by their favorite football player, but some are also afraid of even the most remote possibility of 'losing power' and being the 'not in charge' partner in a sex act.   Youd think it would make them empathize with women and rape/power issues, but more often than not it just makes them freak out about gay dudes.

I really like you and your posts HillmanDC. That was very well put. I'm going to take your statement "Thinking you can treat anyone like crap because of who they are makes you a dick." and think of the use of the terms to mean just that. The 80 old woman I will deal with by shaking my head and making sure she doesn't do any damage, but those out there who feel they "can treat anyone like crap" will feel my disgust.

While I am on a roll I'm going to add that the term "treat like crap" also applies to what the British Government did to one of my heroes, Alan Turing after the second world war. See Breaking the Code

Thanks

So many of our interpersonal problems can be solved by just remembering a simple mantra.....  "Don't be a dick".

Just because you can legally or logistically treat someone else like crap doesn't mean you have to.

Seems like if we'd just remember that we'd all be so much happier.

I don't like one my neighbors much.  But so far I've reserved the urge to piss into his front door keyhole, even though I'm pretty sure I could get away with it.

I congratulate myself on that bit of self control nearly every day.

Aw, shucks.  I'd blush but really I have no shame and I had my ability to blush surgically removed years ago.

The Turing story is fascinating.  If I recall he ended up committing suicide or dying in prison or something after being hounded by the very Brits whose asses he literally saved in WWII, didn't he?

Hounding him is putting it mildly. Homosexuality was illegal back then, so they threw him in prison and only let him out after he agreed to undergo chemical castration. He offed himself shortly thereafter.

Saver of countless asses in WWII, arguably the creator of modern computing, and a big ol' homo. He's one of my heroes as well.

Thirded for Turing as a personal hero. We should all go out to discuss him over some red velvet cake.

I think the Latin term "phobia" is broad enough to include irrational hatred as well as fear. So unless there's a more specific modifier that deals exclusively with hatred, I think it's apropos.

What about using "Sexual prejudice"?

The term heterosexism may be a better fit.

It may be, but it doesn't seem to have broad appeal.

I got to say, that is one textbook case in how to write a formal apology.

Whoever wrote that for them deserves some red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting, with the soccer player of their choice, except Mia Hamm, who I hear is sortof not so nice.  

My sister and Mia Hamm once beat a girl up together in college, or so my sister claims.  I can't speak for Mia, but sis is definitely not a nice person.

Do you know if Safeway's red velvet cake is the type with the cream cheese frosting?  Nothing is worse than buying red velvet cake and realizing it has a butter frosting instead.

Cream cheese.  And it stays relatively fresh forever if refrigerated (which should scare me but mostly it just makes me happy).  I have half a cake in my fridge now, bought WAY before Butt Pirate Appreciation Weekend last weekend.

Dammit HillmanDC, now I'm jonesing for red velvet cake so badly I'm about to eat my computer. I think the next DCist whale cake should be a red velvet whale cake.

You're welcome.

I'm definitely buying some today.

Safeway should have to pay a hefty fine because one new employee uttered one offensive word? I think that the people involved had a right to be very offended, and certainly deserved an apology (and one that was more prompt than that which they received), but the idea that there should be legal repercussions seems a bit ridiculous to me. It's clear that Safeway doesn't condone this type of behavior, and no business can expect to control every word that comes out of every employees mouth. Unless this becomes a pattern I think that the negative PR is lesson and punishment enough.

It's clear by their words that they don't "condone" this type of behavior; however, their actions for several days prior show that they *do* condone this type of behavior.

I think it was ultimately a corporate wait-and-see attitude that kept them from responding -- along the lines of, "let's hope this doesn't become an issue!"

No apology was issued until after their brand was put into jeopardy. That's a pretty telling detail. Of course they get a lawyer and some PR folks to write an apology to avoid further bleeding. Apology should have come in the store, profuse "Sorry, sirs!" as well as a damn complimentary cupcake, possibly some scones.

No business in any part of our country should expect or condone this kind of behavior. I am a gay business owner and we have clear hiring policy on what is appropriate and not appropriate internally and externally: HC is an EOE- race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), sexual identity (formerly sexual orientation), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information. It is also illegal to discriminate against a person because the person complained about discrimination, filed a charge of discrimination, or participated in an employment discrimination investigation or lawsuit. HC does not and will not tolerate any form of harassment, sexual or otherwise. This is inclusive of gossip, unprofessional behavior and attire. We offer and encourage an inclusive, diverse workplace and advocate equality for all. Otherwise need not apply. This for the most part is FEDERAL LAW! If not persued to the full extent it will happen again and again. Safeway in the least should face a hefty fine. To let corporate America know this sort of behavior is unacceptable.

While I can't say how you feel I can't because it didn't happen to me - granted the apology wasn't swift and normally it takes attention to get someone to apologize (which is sad) but across America how many times does this behavior happen and an employee is fired and the company issues an apology and provides the person something in return but why does the apology need to be front page news?  If someone calls me a racial slur I'm not sure I would seek a full page ad, bring up money, and file a lawsuit for someone using an inappropriate term (maybe not the right word) but you can bet I'll never return to that store again.  Companies can have policies in place and provide training but all it takes is one fool like the clerk at Safeway to make any company look bad.  Is a silent LGBT community boycott of Safeway another option?  I'd probably not shop there again....

That's not accurate. It took 3 bad actors, not one fool: the employee, the manager on duty at the time, and the person whose voicemail was filled with the couple's complaints prior to their going public.

This points to a significant underlying problem at Safeway. If a store manager -- as well as at least one higher-level management-type -- thinks it's OK to call customers slurs then what is the work environment like there for GLBT employees? It's possible this is the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

At minimum, it shows how inept Safeway is at handling what should have been a no brainer. They really hurt their brand this week.

Point well taken and yeah three fools but lets be honest - we are dealing with the SW Waterfront Safeway here.  You can build a fancy new building and make it look nice and clean and put lipstick on a pig but at the end of the day its still a pig.  That SW Safeway has problems and while this gives big Safeway a black-eye I'm not sure the clerk's behavior is accepted practice throughout the Safeway community.

We have read the new apology that has been sent to everyone, but us.  It is a much better response from Safeway, than they initially issued.  However, to be clear, only one representative has called and we did say that we were not comfortable speaking without some sort of representation.  While Safeway may have plenty of people in their legal and PR departments, we do not.  Rather than let this get swept under the rug, as would have happened without the media and public attention, we have decided not to engage with Safeway without some advice.  We have not decided how we will go forward with this company.  Please be assured, that if we decide any money should be asked for, it will be payed directly to a non-profit group that promotes understanding and tolerance for the lgbt community and NOT to us.  Also, as a formal apology to the lgbt community, we may ask for a full page apology printed in the Metro Weekly, as they did not just humiliate and offend myself and my partner, we believe they deeply offended this entire community.  Please keep in mind that we are still in the process of our claim with the Districts Office of Human Rights. 
J. Morgan and B. Harrington

What happened to you was appalling and obviously this person should have been quickly fired.  But I don't see how you have any legal case.  Maybe you could win a $1 for IIED but that's about it.  Move on with your life, don't let the intolerance of one person drag you down for years.

What happened to you was appalling and obviously this person should have been quickly fired.  But I don't see how you have any legal case.  Maybe you could win a $1 for IIED but that's about it.  Move on with your life, don't let the intolerance of one person drag you down for years.

seriously? they fired the employee, issued a statement, and contacted you to try to apologize and you're thinking of suing them? for WHAT? what the f is wrong with you? 

Troll much?

Oh come one now @copperreddc. I know you're sad, because this was only the most awesome thing on DCist since Molly.

But you missed it. You can't throw your hat in the ring when the fight's already over.

"what the f is wrong with you? "

This is unnecessary.  They were verbally attacked and whether you or anyone else agrees with the actions they are taking, they are doing what they think is the best for them. 

I hope you understand that what is sometimes most advantageous or lucrative (though "best" I would hardly call it) for the individual is oftentimes most harmful for the community. which means this litigiousness is bad for you, bad for me, bad for the community. they already spoke up and action was taken and demanding monetary compensation is symbolic of how sick our communities have become. 

I happen to agree with you but it's not my decision to make.  It's theirs and only theirs.  Saying "what the f is wrong with you" is just rude and attacking. 

you're right. maybe they'll come after me next with their lawyers. I'm sure I caused them serious hardship.

Guys:

Could you give us a more detailed timeline of Safeway's responses to your concerns?   That seems to be the missing part of this story.

For instance, specifically what happened when you approached store management in person at the time of the incident? 

Were you given specific numbers to call?  If so, were you ever given an actual person to talk to?  If so, what was the result?

When did you decide to get legal counsel, and did Safeway ever contact them?

I find that money even being brought up pretty distasteful. Seek legal counsel by all means but surely you could be a bit more proactive in working with Safeway to promote these goals than going through the legal courts?

The post doesn't say that they are definitely suing, and if they didn't mention money you just know that some commenter here would say "you're just doing this for money." It's a can't-win situation.

I still struggle with the need to retain counsel, if there is no intent to sue. I am pretty sure that the victim does not place themselves at any possible risk by speaking directly with someone from Safeway.

Please explain what possible rationale there is to needing a mediator to accept an apology, unless one expects that one's "on the record" statements may impact some future legal action they intend to bring.

I'm appalled and disgusted w/the behavior of the Safeway clerk, but you can't really complain about Safeway not apologizing to you if you refuse to take their calls.

I guess I should have clarified.  After trying for several DAYS to communicate with Safeway on our own, we were ignored.  Only after the Metro Weekly reported our story did the first call come to us. At that point, we felt that we should be advised on how to handle the situation, rather than speak directly with the company on our own.

Thank you both for getting back to us (DCist) with where this stands. Perhaps one day we can all live in a world without intolerance, a world that embraces our differences, and welcomes all. It is a shame you were treated like this and there is no good reason why some act as they do. Maybe you will find a middle ground with Safeway and allow this to be an opportunity toward understanding from within rather than the generation of one more company policy.

good apology.  They really had no choice but to let her go with all the publicity.  But somehow I doubt it makes the [former] cashier any less biased against gay folks.  

Doesn't really matter, since her face and name are out there as being homophobic. Any potential career as anything substantial, at least in DC, is out the window for her now, so really, what she thinks I'm sure most aren't concerned with. Sad. So young, but stupidity pays a price.

Do most employers in the retail and service industry do comprehensive google-stalks of their potential $8/hour hires? Somehow I doubt it. I certainly wouldn't bother. I can't imagine this will have any substantive affect on her future career prospects. 

She's ignorant and said something stupid, and lost her job because of it. Justice is done. The non-conseqeunces a couple months from now shouldn't concern anyone.

I hear the Wesboro Baptist Church gift shop is hiring.  Smiling faces can apply online.

Or National Organization for Marriage. 

Or any of about twenty other anti-gay groups.

Or, honestly, about half of the Republican Party organizations, particularly in the South.

And how does she feel about the Tea Party?  Of course, they may not share the love back her way.  Oh, how irony/karma sucks.

... she's not running for public office! (and even if she were, would it matter?! ... corruption, drug problems, etc. haven't stopped so many of our elected officials).  People make mistakes and this probably won't follow her (she was at Safeway a month per the article above... and it's Safeway...).  Bigger issue is what this says for the sad state of our community and the prevalence of intolerance everywhere.

This has gone viral enough and her name/face will be known in enough social circles where it will follow her for at least some time. Maybe not forever. This wasn't a mistake. She knew what she said and she said what she meant.

You're right, though, the big issue is that, unfortunately, bigotry in all forms and especially anti-LGBT bigotry, is still an issue. It has and will most likely always be everywhere but luckily it's much less of an issue in DC. With that said, taking a stand and saying NO when situations such as this occur is the perfect way to create change.

I think you seriously underestimate the prevalence of homophobia among certain communities in DC. It's practically a requirement if you run a church in this town. I wouldn't be surprised to see her run for an ANC seat on the "Gays are Destroying Our Vegetable Aisle" platform. NO GAY BIKE LANES IN WARD 8!

Why hasn't management been fired?  If the manager on duty would have apologized and said she would have the manager call them we wouldn't be discussing this. 

That is an appropriate apology and response.  

Has this situation been resolved or will Jason Morgan and Brendan Harrington pursue legal action?

good job safeway. hopefully your internal review shows what many of us know - the management at your stores is incompetent.

Thank you, Safeway.

Yes.

Yay Safeway!

about time.

That is an apology.

Was just going to say that, it's amazing how hard it is for organizations to apologize like that. Anthony's Weiner is kicking itself for not having that PR on it's side.

Hopefully, the fired employee will think twice about using such language in a work setting. Otherwise, she needs to work for an organization where such language is encouraged.

I am still unclear. Is the word "niggardly" acceptable, unacceptable, or in a some kind of "neither black nor white" area?

It certainly is.

My favorite quip about this flap was by the Washington City Paper, when they said Williams "managed to appease both the illiterate and hard-of-hearing vote."

what?

Thanks for that reminder. It seems to me people keep lighted torches, pitchforks, and sticks by their front door in case they want to become enraged. 

Hell, I keep that by the door just in case you show up! (Or zombies.)

My neighbor on the Hill (very sexy flight attendant, by the way), used to keep an entire garage full of Stop The Hate candles in her garage.  She used to literally just fill in the specific cause when needed.

Worked really well for her when the Matthew Shepard rallies were called on short notice years ago.

I think she also met an unwashed hippie she really liked at that rally, so her investment paid off.

That's what I miss most about the Rock Against Reagan/Racism rallies: getting laid afterwards. Something about social activism gets the ladies ALL WET.

Wet for Wildlife Refuge Preservation
Gooey for Global Warming Efforts
Juicy for Justice
Positively dripping for Darfur

Too much?  Dated?

@OTR, Oh god, please tell me you're not talking about that fundamentalist clown car banshee from Minnesota.

Not at all. I make reference to:

http://dcist.com/attachments/d...

@otr, you nailed it. It's all about day game these days. Bars and nightclubs are for cougars.

Yes, a thousand times yes. And that is why a certain ethereal redhead (representing the (god forbid) Tea Party) caught my eye.  It seems to me protests, funerals, and weddings are the go to places to hook up.

I'm Wet For Justice.  And Global Warming Awareness.   That last part could just be a byproduct of the warming, though.

Better late than never. Applies to the Titanic, and homophobic slurs.