Overheard in D.C.: Takin' the Bus

Photo by Cary Scott

You can say many things about Metrobuses. And now you can say one more thing. But hey, at least it's a good thing that Metro stations have bathrooms.

Overheard of the Week

On the 54 Bus Southbound to K St, Saturday Morning:

Man talking to the bus driver while his wife giggles next to him
Man: "Yo man, I miss my job working for Metro."
Bus Driver: "Oh yeah?"
Man: "Yeh. They fired me for takin' a shit in the back of the bus."
Bus Driver: "Dude."
Man: "I didn't have no toilet paper. That was back when they had those paper transfers. They fired me for using government property to wipe my ass!"
(laughter from the Man, horrifed silence from the rest of the bus)
Man: "Did you ever see the movie, "The Help"?"

After the jump, maybe smart kids, maybe drunk moms, and definitely 20-something assholes.

Overheard in D.C. depends on you to send us the funny and weird stuff you hear. So send it! And make sure to tell us who said it, where, when and in what context.

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Kid is right

Last Saturday afternoon on yellow line to Huntington:

A tourist mom, dad, and boy (approx. 10 years old) are sitting together.

Mom: "We have to eat when we get back."
Kid: "I want hot chocolate!"
Mom: "No, you have to eat real food."
Kid: "...but hot chocolate's melted chocolate."

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From now on, it's this guy's fault

Sunday on the corner outside Eastern Market:

40-something statehood guy holding clipboard: "Sign a petition for D.C. Statehood. We need a vote! "
30 something guy, passing by: "You're wasting your time."
Statehood guy is upset, shoots a look at the passerby.
Statehood Guy: "Well I'm sure your job is a waste of time too."

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Urge to punch rising

Saturday, late afternoon, Green Line Metro exit to U Street at 13th:

Three twenty-somethings are deposited by metro escalator to the street, while talking about living in D.C.

One of them: "Yeah, another thing about DC that's different from New York, is that in D.C. you HAVE to have a car to go anyplace."

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And this explains the D.C. Council

At the D6 bus stop at Union Station during evening rush hour:

An older man approaches middle aged woman carrying bright green umbrella with
red D.C. flag on it.

Man: "Excuse me Miss, where'd you get that D.C. umbrella?"
Woman: "I'm an ANC Rep for Ward 5."
Man stares at her.
Woman: "Kwame Brown bought them for us."
Long Pause.
Man: "Humph. Man never bought me nothing." [Man then walks away]
Everyone within ear shot starts laughing.

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The new Oprah seal of approval

Coming out of the Clarendon metro, 10:30 Saturday night:

Guy 1, shouting through crowd: "I read The Hunger Games!"
Buddy, shouting back: "I read the, um, Very HUNGRY Caterpillar."

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Coolest family ever?

Walking from Washington Circle to Foggy Bottom Metro:

A young college guy is talking loudly on his phone.

Phone guy: "Hey, tell her I love her and I'm buying her a bottle of tequila."
(Apparently the person on the other side can't quite make out what he's saying, so the guy repeats it literally ten more times.)
Phone guy: "...tell-her-I-love-her-and-I'm-buying-her-a-bottle-of-tequila...hey, mom, I
have to go now, bye!"

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At least he didn't write the State of the Union milk joke

At Washington College of Law:

Two female law students are talking during a meal.

Student 1: "So, he's a speechwriter on the Hill..."
Student 2: "Yeah?"
Student 1: "...for a Republican."
Student 2: "Ew."
Student 1: "Yeah, but it's like, his only downfall."

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Crushing dreams

On Saturday at the Smithsonian National History Museum:

A little boy, probably about 8 or so, was excitedly taking pictures at the First Ladies inaugural gown exhibit.

His mom walks up to him and starts to chide him saying, "You don't want pictures of dresses. Why don't you go take some nice pictures of war stuff or something?" He then walked away dejected.

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UNTIL WHAT!?

Corner of 18th and Massachusetts NW:

Two young women are smoking outside the National Trust for Historic Preservation and laughing.

Woman 1: "So I'm starting to think I'm infertile."
Woman 2: "Everybody thinks that until..."

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