Following in the fine form of fellow New Yorker Jennifer 8. Lee, former D.C. resident and Gawker editor Alex Pareene took some time out of his busy schedule of posting items about Peggy Noonan's supposed penchant for cheap vodka to remind Washingtonians that we'll "never be cool." To wit:
DC isn't cool. It's boring. The hip and cool new DC residents brought to town to work for the Obama administration? Uh, they're "hip" and "cool" in a really, really relative sense. Like, cooler than 50-year-old Heritage Foundation senior research fellows.Who possibly could argue with such solid rock solid generalizations? Well, let's check out his arguments, just for kicks. It wouldn't be a fair and accurate examination if one didn't. According to Pareene, here's the incredibly pressing issues with the District that have lead him to such a conclusion:

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Whenever the dirtiest plays in hockey history are discussed, New York Islanders fans malign Dale Hunter's hit on Pierre Turgeon. True, Hunter hit Turgeon from behind, without warning, as Turgeon raised his arms to celebrate a decisive playoff goal. True, Hunter separated Turgeon's shoulder, earning a (then record setting) 21-game suspension. Regardless, Caps fans will no longer have to listen quietly as Long Island residents insult our good name.