monkeyrotica

I got no love for The Cooch, but how's the cellphone search-and-siezure rule any different from a teacher confiscating a note you're passing around during class? You're not there to pass notes/beaver ...

I wouldn't be suprised if the police find these turkeys dead from an apparent "suicide" in Rock Creek Park. Et tu, Hilary? ...

FROM BENEATH YOU IT DEVOURS....

Well, the adult diaper was clean until I filled it full of turkey gravy. Nothing in TSA boarding rules say you can't fill your adult diaper full of turkey gravy....

Here's an easy last minute recipe. Go to Jimmy's Grill in the Maine Avenue Fish Market and pick up one of their cakes. Pick up a bottle of rye and pend the time you would be cooking to get good and pl...

Well, you can keep your fastidious continental bidets, Mrs. Foreigner! Mrs. America knows how to keep her feet clean! ...

When I was a kid, the Catholic priest who molested me sent a hitman to kill me. So I hired the Impossible Missions Force to take him down with Lalo Schifrin playing in the background. Then Tom Cruise...

So America's Favorite Half-Kenyan Antichrist continues his reign of terror unabated, and is now issuing pardons to the inner circle of his unholy cabal. And I suppose it's just a coincidence that this...

Once that's done, proceed to brag about how awesome your neighborhood is, how clean the Metro is, and how there are so many cool things to do and places to eat. Ask everyone how jealous they are. Once...

I'm going to attempt to get through screeners with an adult diaper filled with turkey gravy, oyster stuffing, mashed potatoes, and a drumstick. I've never cared for pumpkin pie. ...

Helen Keller?...

I'm implanting the idea of me imagining downloading images of you masturbating to the thought of everyone downloading full body scans of eachother. You're waiting for a train, a train that will take y...

Have a safe trip. And don't forget to tell everyone you meet that you're from DC even though you live in a group house in Herndon....

You know who else drove a Mercedes and didn't have to pay attention while driving? ...

I'll be in the airport bathroom practicing my wide stance. Third stall on the left. Be there or beheaded. Aloha. ...