Redskin running back Clinton Portis and former Washington defensive back Ifeanyi Ohalete, are embroiled in a strange dispute that is sure to one day become a Stare DCisis. The two athletes have ended up in civil court in Maryland over a bizarre contracted agreement over Portis’ jersey number.

You see, when Portis came to the Redskins, his preferred jersey number—26—was held by Ohalete. Portis, figuring that it was his jersey’s occult numerological power and not the Denver Broncos unique way of cut-blocking that gave him the ability to post elite numbers for a rusher, really wanted that number. So the two athletes wrote out a crude contract that stipulated that Portis would pay Ohalete $40,000 in three payments during the season. The agreement was signed and witnessed by an equipment manager, in accordance with ancient tradition.

Ohalete’s problems began in August, when he, like so many unfortunate NFL players before him, suffered the tragic misfortune of becoming an Arizona Cardinal. Portis, believing Ohalete’s prior claim on the jersey number was voided after Ohalete left the team, has not paid Ohalete the final two installments of $10,000 that are stipulated in the contract. Ohalete disagrees, and he likely has contract law backing him up, provided the courts recognize something that was probably written on a napkin in the presence of a guy who collects jockstraps a “contract.”

Anyone who’d like to perform in some no-doubt thrilling courtroom re-enactments of this case should contact DCist.