When Sheryl Crow dedicated her first song to the troops, I mentally composed a letter to Santa Claus. Please, Santa. Please let her sing “All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun.” I suppose I have not been a good boy this year, because she played instead a Christmas song. As did saxophonist Joshua Redman, singer-songwriter Ray LaMontagne, rapper Common, American Idol-star Jordin Sparks, hot Hobbit-music troupe Celtic Woman, an Internet meme and the “President’s Own” U.S. Marine Band — performing a Starbucks mix’s worth of holiday cheer to celebrate the lighting of the National Christmas Tree.

With his whole family plus Vice President Joe “Uncle” Biden in tow, President Barack Obama celebrated his first Christmas in the White House. He was introduced by Secretary of the Interior and lone Cabinet cowboy Ken Salazar. Reverend Cynthia Hale of Georgia’s Ray of Hope gave an inspiring, church-and-state co-mingling invocation. Her brief but impressively inflected sermon might have been the most entertaining part of the evening; I wouldn’t mind seeing one of her “extravagant worship” services down in Georgia some time.

Santa and Mrs. Claus were the other First Family honored by the event. The Christmas industry titans sang a duet to refresh audience members on their business concept: two lists, handouts, indentured servants, genetically modified reindeer. An American Idol judge introduced the elvish delegation.