Photo by ssteege1.

As part of the recent negotiations between the D.C. Council and Mayor Vince Gray over the D.C. budget, D.C. Council Chair Kwame Brown asked Gray to provide a master list of every fee that the city can charge residents and business for services, licenses, paperwork, and the bureaucratic mill. Brown’s request was premised on the idea that maybe D.C. is charging too much for too many things, and that the council may undertake a longer-term project to reassess fees and fines charged to residents.

Below is the full 76-page-long master fee schedule. As with most government documents, it’s long—but there’s certainly some riches to be found within. Our favorite little outtakes:

>> Wanna serve booze on a boat? It’ll cost you $1,950. How about on a rail car? $650. If you can’t decide between opening a distillery or a winery, consider the difference in license costs: $6,000 for the former, only $1,500 for the latter.

>> Wanna build a swimming pool? If it’s less than 15,000 gallons, it’s a $186 fee. If it’s more, it’s $260 plus $33 for every 1,000 gallons plus 10 percent on top of that.

>> Did you know there’s a license for a “Business Street Photographer”? We didn’t. It costs $337.70

>> A tour guide license is $184.80.

>> Wanna be an amateur boxer or wrestler? That’s $7, please.

>> Plenty of professions that are regulated by the Department of Health require $50 criminal background checks, including to be an acupuncturist, audiologist, nutritionist, and dietician. Ironically enough, the 2013 budget the D.C. Council passed exempts council staffers from similar criminal background checks.

>> If you borrow a soccer ball from a rec center and lose it, that’s $20. A badminton set? $15.

>> How much would an out-of-state resident get charged to send their kid to D.C. public schools for a year? Between $6,709 and $11,986. Or they could pay day by day, only $37 to $67.

Fy13 Budget Master Fee Schedule