FMK 9C1 (via FMK Firearms)

We all deal with attacks on our reputations in different ways. The mature thing to do would be to brush that dirt off your shoulder and just keep living. Then again, sometimes its fun to get even.

Yesterday, the conservative website The Daily Caller, the online home of Tucker Carlson and his bowties, was hacked and had its banner ads replaced by advertisements for hardcore pornography. Instead of ad copy for various corporations or anti-Democratic interest groups, The Daily Caller’s ads invited readers to click through for “BRUTALLY HARDCORE ACTION!” and “INCREDIBLY NASTY SEX!”

The cyberattack not only forced prudish conservatives to look at said brutally hardcore action, it also prompted visitors to The Daily Caller to be warned that the site is unsafe for computers. And in the most disgusting bit of media navel-gazing that DCist will ever offer, Fishbowl DC reported yesterday that The Daily Caller came under a malware attack.

But the ads have since been removed, and now it’s time for the Caller get even—by giving away a handgun to whoever can track down the hacker who inundated the site with the porn. The Caller is in the middle of a weekly series of giving away 9-millimeter pistols to its gun-loving readers, and this week’s contest is now a one-off special: Find the hacker and win the gun, an FMK 9C1 manufactured in California.

The FMK 9C1 is a semi-automatic pistol that takes between 10 and 14 rounds. It also comes with the Bill of Rights engraved on its casing. And The Daily Caller will give it to you if you can track down that pesky, porny hacker.

And if you’re not so technically inclined, you can also win the gun through an essay contest that invites entrants to fantasize about how they would hunt down the hacker and how retribution should be administered.

We know what you’re thinking. Are they for fucking real?

“Probably,” a former Daily Caller staff writer said in an email.

But for safety’s sake, no one can enter the contest without first agreeing to the rules and regulations, one of which is that The Daily Caller is absolved of all responsibility for what the eventual winner does with the gun.

So that’s a relief.