Via The White House.

Ladies and gents, meet the ultimately doomed turkeys who will be pardoned by President Barack Obama tomorrow.

Yes, while it seems that Popcorn and Caramel are battling to stay alive on social media, Hunger Games-style, they will both be pardoned, sent to spend the holidays at Mount Vernon then transferred to Morven Park in Virginia for the remainder of their lives. Lives that may be very short.

As US News and World Report first discovered, all of Obama’s pardoned turkeys are dead. That’s 8 turkeys. This year, instead of being sent to live at Mount Vernon permanently, Popcorn and Caramel will just spend the holidays there. Obama Foodorama explains the change:

In a deal struck last week, the 2013 National Thanksgiving Turkey and his alternate will be sent to another historic Virginia estate, Morven Park in Leesburg.

But it has nothing to do with dead turkeys, [Keith Williams, the Federation’s Vice President for Communications] insisted, and credited the new living arrangement to aesthetics.

Mount Vernon officials told Williams they no longer want to care for President Obama’s birds because the hybrid broad-breasted, white-feathered toms do not match “the historic accuracy” of turkeys from Washington’s era, Williams said.

But enough of the macabre: Let’s talk about these turkeys’ taste in music. Obviously, Popcorn has Caramel beat with Beyonce over Lady Gaga. He also have the far superior gobble, which can be listened to here.

So go forth and vote in this meaningless exercise of democracy! Or, if you’re like me, have your annual guilt attack over the prospect of eating an anthropomorphized turkey.

Via The White House.