As promised, President Barack Obama pardoned Popcorn the turkey today. He also cut the loser, Caramel, a break and pardoned him, too.
Also as expected, Obama’s turkey jokes were extremely corny. Did you see Sasha’s face? Did you watch their reactions after the president said, “The White House Turkey Pardon is a great tradition. And I know Malia loves it, as does Sasha”? They do not love it, you guys. Ranked by level of dad corniness, from most corny to least, here are the jokes Obama made about turkeys today.
Now, 80 turkeys on John’s farm competed for the chance to make it to the White House, and stay off the Thanksgiving table. It was, quite literally, the Hunger Games.
The competition was stiff, but we can officially declare that Popcorn is the winner — (applause) — proving that even a turkey with a funny name can find a place in politics.
As for Caramel, he’s sticking around, and he’s already busy raising money for his next campaign.
Generally speaking, Thanksgiving is a bad day to be a turkey. Especially at a house with two dogs.
Popcorn, you have a full reprieve from cranberry sauce and stuffing.
The office of the presidency — the most powerful position in the world — brings with it many awesome and solemn responsibilities. This is not one of them.
