Let me just say this right off the bat. Joe Willis — D.C. United’s backup goalkeeper — is one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. He’s also one of the funniest guys in United’s locker room, so when the team asked him to pose for his yearly media guide photo, he had one question for them.

“Can I look angry?”

The team obliged, and the result is equal parts disturbing and hilarious. Here’s the final shot.

Willis and his beard are a fan favorite at United, so I figured we’d send him on a bit of a tour.

Joe Willis does American Gothic:

Joe Willis becomes a Supreme Court Justice:

Joe Willis shows his softer side:

JOE WILLIS HATES SINGLE-TRACKING:

Even Joe Willis got caught up in the search for the Yellow King.

JOE WILLIS RETURNS TO RFK STADIUM.

Joe Willis gets animated:

If you need a palette cleanser, here’s Joe in a more friendly pose.