Too many Washingtonians were so busy taking AP classes in kindergarten that they missed out on the finer points of childhood. But the joy of being adult is that you can throw it all away and finger paint for the afternoon if you want. Meanwhile, D.C. is filled with classes that resemble the summer camp you would have attended if you weren’t stuck in 5th grade PSAT prep. Let someone else provide the materials, instruction, and cleanup while you get to blissfully do whatever you came to do. Below are our favorite classes to make you feel like a kid again. Leave yours in the comments.
BUBBLE SOCCER:This is not just a fever dream from middle school. Soccer played by human bumper cars is a real thing that you can really do. Players are outfitted in giant inflatable suits and then sent off to make the beautiful game more bouncy, albeit rather less elegant. A company called BubbleBallDC rents all the equipment necessary to set up your own friendly or you can hightail it out to Gold’s Gym in Woodbridge, Va., which offers group classes.— Rachel Sadon
Gold’s Gym Elite Training Center is located at 13957 Jefferson Davis Highway in Woodbridge, Va.
Photo via Facebook.
ADULT DANCE CLASSES AT CAPITOL HILL ARTS WORKSHOP: Remember how cute your mom thought you were tottering around ballet class as a little kid? I don’t, because unlike other little girls my age, my mom never enrolled me in dance classes. Luckily, adults can experience the endearing awkwardness of learning to move your body in unfamiliar ways at Capitol Hill Arts Workshop. CHAW offers a variety of affordable, low-pressure adult dance classes, including ballet, tap, hip-hop, modern, and burlesque. I’ve taken both the ballet and tap classes—both suitable for total beginners, though ballet is definitely the more technically challenging of the two. Tap students can expect to learn a dance routine, and there’s even a recital for students, regardless of age, at the end of each semester.—Alicia Mazzara
Capitol Hill Arts Workshop is located at 545 7th Street SE.
Photo by Kate Warren.
TERRARIUM MAKING AT SILL LIFE: Having a green thumb is all the rage these days. Skip the garden plot (so much work) and instead head over to Holley Simmons’ charming apartment, where she’ll guide you in making a low maintenance terrarium—and teach you how to keep it alive. Attendees of the hour-long cclasses make tiny tabletop landscapes with locally grown succulents and foraged moss. Add your own action figures for the full five-year-old effect.—Rachel Sadon
Sill Life classes take place at Simmons’ apartment in Mt. Pleasant.
Photo by Arielle Milkman.
ADULT BICYCLING CLASSES AT WABA: For those that never got the chance to tool around on a bike as a kid—and people that are living proof that the saying “Once you learn, you’ll never forget” is actually a giant lie—the Washington Area Bicyclist Association offers an Adult Learn to Ride class. And it is way less scary than the time you thought your dad was holding on but he definitely wasn’t and you still have the scars to prove it. There are no training wheels to give you false confidence. New riders start off without pedals and learn first to glide. Once they’ve got that, they get one pedal and practice pushing off into a glide. Only after those skills are mastered do they move on to riding with two pedals. Usually at least three-quarters of the class will get it by the end of the three hour lesson. WABA also offers a city cycling class, perfect for timid cyclists who already know how to ride but want more confidence in navigating the roadways.— Rachel Sadon
WABA’s adult cycling classes rotate locations in Alexandria, Arlington, and D.C. Check the calendar for more specifics.
Photo via Facebook.
SEWING AT BITS OF THREAD: Once upon a time, I found few things more intimidating than the phrase “thread a bobbin.” Home economics classes were way out of vogue by the time I got to middle school and anything more than sewing a button seemed like something only a 1950s housewife could possibly tackle. So I took an intro to sewing class at Bits of Thread, where a tiny group of us (the classes are capped at six people) learned the basic parts of a sewing machine and then got behind the wheel. After some basic exercises—turns out its not that hard to sew in a straight line!—we made a small drawstring bag. The Adams Morgan studio also offers intermediate and advanced classes that seem to cover just about every kind of sewing skill you could possibly need to learn, including putting in zippers and hemming, as well as specific projects like hatmaking, embroidery, quilting, and bowties. — Rachel Sadon
Bits of Thread is located at 1794 Columbia Road, NW, Suite #6.
Photo via Facebook.
SCREEN PRINTING AT OPEN STUDIO DC: Graduate from designing t-shirts with puffy paint and sharpies to screen printing with the pros at this Northeast studio run by a former adjunct printmaking professor at the Corcoran College of Art & Design (RIP). Learn to make t-shirts for your band—real or imaginary—at an intro class that covers printing on fabrics. Confident printmakers can also rent space from the studio also at an hourly rate.— Rachel Sadon
Open Studio is located at 1135 Okie Street NE.
TRAPEZE SCHOOL NEW YORK: Despite its misleading name, the D.C. area’s only trapeze school is not, actually, in New York. It’s situated near the Southeast waterfront. No, I haven’t actually taken a trapeze class here, I’ll admit, but I spent a lot of time in my youth learning how to do backflips and whatnot on a trampoline and I’ve always admired Batman’s trusty sidekick Robin’s trapeze skills and background. So, you can say I’m a trapeze connoisseur (don’t say that). Anyway, the Trapeze School of New York has a lot of cool classes I would take if I didn’t suffer a bad knee injury in high school, like flying trapeze, balancing and acrobatics, trampoline, and more. So if you spend your days nestled away in a windowless cubicle, dreaming of quitting your job and joining the circus, well, here’s where to start. — Matt Cohen
The Trapeze School New York is located at 4th Street and Tingey Street NE.
EARTH TREKS: When I was a camp counselor during summer breaks in college, I worked at a nature camp in the D.C. area that would frequently do rock climbing trips at Carderock. It’s a lot of fun to climb there, but it’s definitely not for beginners. So, if you’ve ever wanted to learn to rock climb, there’s a number of indoor rock climbing places in the D.C. area to do so. Earth Treks in Rockville, Md. offers classes and instruction for people of all ages, and they even offer outdoor climbing expeditions. — Matt Cohen
Earth Treks is located at 725 Rockville Pike in Rockville, Md.
WOODWORKERS CLUB: Channel your inner Ron Swanson and learn how to build sweet shit with wood at the Woodworkers Club in Rockville, Md. I’ve always considered myself a crafty person, except with zero skills, so everything I try to make—shelves, bookcases, record shelves, etc.—always turns out like shit. It’d be nice to make something I’m proud of for once. — Matt Cohen
Woodworkers Club is located at 11910-L Parklawn Drive in Rockville, Md.
Rachel Sadon