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D.C. is a lot of things: the fittest city in the country; the best city for veterans; home to the most toilet owners in the country; carrying around a lot of credit card debt; The Best Place To Start A Career While Being Stressed Out And Looking Up ‘Gun Control; home to the highest amount of TV binge-watchers in the country; quite a popular place for millennials; one of the preppiest cities in the country; drunk a lot.

Now you can add “the most Most Facial Hair Friendly City in America” to that list of arbitrary superlatives. According to an annual (yes, annual) study conducted by a—you guessed it—male grooming company, has moved up 18 spots to become the most facial hair friendly city in America. Congratulations dudes of D.C., you did it! (Editor’s note: I am bearded, so I guess this makes the previous sentence self-congratulatory.)

Self-proclaimed* “Official Sponsor of Facial Hair” Wahl, partnered with Opinion Research Corporation to conduct the study, “which included in-depth analysis of the online universe over the past year for beard and mustache positivity” (?), and determined the top 20 most facial hair friendly cities in the country. Right behind D.C. is Los Angeles, then Seattle, followed by San Francisco and Nashville.

So how did D.C. become such a (facially) hairy city? Baseball. At least that’s what Wahl says.

A big reason for this jump is the city’s pro baseball team. Last fall they led the league in many statistical categories, including facial hair. Fans in turn rallied, creating a wave of positive facial hair sentiment that helped to make D.C.

But wait! There’s more! To honor D.C.’s new top ranking, Wahl is sponsoring a beard. Whose beard, you ask? Nationals starting pitcher Gio Gonzalez’s beard. Why? Because corporate sponsorship and money or something.

What does this all mean for the city? It means nothing. Absolutely nothing. Arbitrary rankings are arbitrary. Time is a flat circle. Life is a hollow void of nothingness, and then you die. So why bother shaving?

*I say self-proclaimed because I do not remember signing anything allowing Wahl to sponsor my beard.