Photo by Javajanie
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
There’s been a lot of news about a maybe or maybe not chicken ban in the city. There are some strong feelings about the issue. This may not be the best argument, though.
Overheard of the Week
At the city chicken hearing in front of DC Council’s Committee on Health:
Man, testifying: “Chickens are pets with benefits.”
After the jump, looking out for each other, meeting neighbors, and more.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Seems logical
Couple, mid-thirties, walking down Wilson Blvd toward Rosslyn around 7 p.m. on Wednesday evening:
Woman is wearing jeans and a leather jacket, man is dressed for a business casual office.
Man: “Having lost three pairs of pants this year, well… due to wear and tear. I mean, they ripped.”
Woman: “That’s because you do high kicks!”
Man: “Well…”
Woman: (giggles) “That’s a you problem!”
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Sometimes you need a little help
At a gay bar near closing time:
Two twenty-somethings have been sitting at the bar drinking for several hours.
The more intoxicated one turns on his phone and struggles to open his texting app.
He finally slides the phone over to his friend and says “This is my ex. You have to tell him to come get me.”
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Not if you call it “the swamp”
At 20th and M Northwest:
Young man on the phone: “I have to admit I’m really enjoying my time here in the swamp. I’m coming up on my one year anniversary. I guess I’m officially part of the establishment.”
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Meeting your neighbors!
Monday night in the Navy Yard area:
A car parks outside the Arris apartments. They throw a bag of trash into the street.
Man on balcony: “Yo! That ain’t where trash goes”
A man exits car and picks up his trash.
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Trouble in paradise
In the Safeway on 5th and L NW:
Man: “How about these? Everyone loves Pop-Tarts.”
Woman: “Eww, gross, don’t get Pop-Tarts. I don’t like Pop-Tarts.”
Man: “Haha, yeah ok.” (walks away utterly dejected)
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Good point
Work colleagues in their early 30s on lunch break in Dupont Circle:
Guy: “Have you seen the video of the Indian guy who eats bricks?”
Gal: “Wait, what? I’m walking on bricks right now and I’m pretty sure that I couldn’t digest them.”
Guy: “Maybe he drinks a lot of milk…”
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Cup of water?
A man and his teenage daughter walk into Buttercream Bake Shop in Shaw:
The man asks the server, “What do you have that’s low in sugar?”
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It is Florida, after all
Trader Joe’s on 14th St., Saturday morning, produce section:
Elderly woman talking to her two shopping companions in an exasperated tone: “I just want a giant sinkhole to open under Mar-a-Lago!”
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When you’ve made it
At a volunteer gardening event:
Early 20s guy, derisively: “Now that I’m finally making money I’m not gonna spend it on peppers.”
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Not sure this will be too effective
During a lull near the back of the March for Science:
Mid-20’s woman to her friends after failed attempts at rhyming chants: “See, this is why we need to keep funding the National Endowment for the Arts!”
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I injured my eyes rolling them
Around First and East Capitol:
Four people are walking west, one is carrying oversized camera equipment.
The lady in front in a fancy dress says knowingly to the wide-eyes individuals following her: “Yeah I’m from here. Technically my address is Vienna, but it’s really Falls Church. We love living in D.C.”
