The new boats. (Photo via Twitter)

The new boats. (Photo via Twitter)

Update: DC Water has released the final three names:

  • Nacotchtank & Piscataway

  • Flotsam & Jetsam

  • Ana & Mac

Original: DC Water has upgraded the boats it uses to hoover up garbage from the Anacostia and Potomac, and now it’s looking for the public’s help in naming the riverfaring vessels.

But don’t bother suggesting Boaty McBoatface.

“Obviously there’s a lot of jokesters tweeting at us, but we want something people would be proud to call their own,” says Vincent Morris, a spokesperson for DC Water. “Boaty McBoatface isn’t the direction we want to go in.”

The boats, which are already in the water but will be officially launched this week, cruise up and down the Anacostia and parts of the Potomac, using a conveyer belt-like contraption on their front to collect trash from the rivers.

The program has been in operation for years, and Morris says the old boats on average collected between 300-400 tons of garbage annually. The new boats, which have better motors and are the right height to make it under pedestrian bridges, could collect even more.

A recent report from the Anacostia Watershed gave the Anacostia an “F” for trash, but the score of 49 still marked an improvement.

As far as naming the boats, Morris says the utilities company is receiving suggestions via Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and over email. Then, in a few days, staffers will pick the most popular ideas and put them up for a vote.

Another local naming competition. #NametheNestlings, employs a similar process. But the local eaglets often get christened with snoozers, like last year’s Freedom and Liberty. This year’s options weren’t much better.

“We’re not going to pick boring names,” Morris promises. “We’re also not going to pick ridiculous names or names that are obviously inflammatory and will insult people. Naming it after Donald Trump does not necessarily represent what we see these boats doing.”

Here are some suggestions (many of which don’t pass the standards Morris set out):

Updated to reflect that the Anacostia got a score of 49 for trash from the Anacostia Watershed.

Filed Under: anacostia river, boat, boats, dc water, name the nestlings, naming, potomac river,