Photo by kelly bell photography
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
The Pride Parade happened a few weeks ago, but it’s more than a parade. It stays with you.
Overheard of the Week
On the Red Line to Glenmont, the morning after the D.C. Pride Parade:
A young man, early 20s, is sitting next to his friend, a woman also in her early 20s.
Man: “Man, yesterday was crazy. I even have glitter under my fingernails!
Friend: “Where did that glitter even come from?”
The man looks perplexed for a moment.
Man: “Y’know, I don’t even know.”
They both look puzzled for several minutes.
——
They learn fast
In a Tenleytown Pizzeria:
One intern in a group of interns: “Oh, you live on the Red line? Yeah, you’re screwed.”
——
These two statements don’t really match up
At 14th and U:
Two young women in their twenties are talking about money.
One sighs: “I’m so broke… let’s just go to Barcelona and get some crudités and a bottle of red wine.”
——
Well, it is called a Metrocard there
In NYC at Penn Station:
A couple is in line for the fare card machine: “Oh! Check and see if we still have those metro cards from D.C.!”
——
Morning causes deep thoughts
Waiting for an elevator in a NoMa office building:
Two early 20s co-workers are standing and waiting.
Jovial guy, casually dressed: “Good morning!”
Guy in khakis and a button up, deadpans: “It is morning.”
Jovial guy: “Do you drink coffee?”
Khakis guy: “No.”
Jovial guy: “How do you cope with the morning?”
Khakis guy: “I exist.”
Jovial guy: “That’s a binary state of being.”
——
May want to go back to school for a bit
Outside the White House:
Tourist pointing to White House, talking to a child. “That’s where all the laws are made.”
——
What, no Bud Dry?
Columbia Heights Target around 5 PM:
Two 20-something women are shopping together.
One woman to the other: “I’m going to wear a Budweiser shirt. And then I’m going to wear a Bud Light hat.”
——
One of the habits of highly effective people
At a bus stop on 8th & Pennsylvania Ave SE:
Woman to another: “You know damn well that 4 in the morning is our time to have sex.”
——
Not enough fast talking?
On Pennsylvania Avenue near Barracks Row:
Two 20-somtehing women are talking.
Woman 1: “It was so offensive.”
Woman 2 nods aggressively
Woman 1: “I mean, Gilmore Girls has always been offensive, but the last two episodes were SO offensive.”
——
Makes you want to be a member of Congress from wherever In-N-Out Burger is based
On the 30N bus towards Georgetown:
One activist is talking to another about their day on the Hill.
“I can’t believe how many snacks the senators had. The guy from Pennsylvania had Utz potato chips and Milk Duds everywhere.”
——
Ancient history
Walking by the Vietnam Veterans Memorial:
Teenager to parent/chaperone: “You mean you were alive during the Vietnam War?”
——
There’s a lot going on here
At a rooftop bar in NW D.C. around 9 p.m.:
Four guys arrive, they are all in their early twenties. One of them is already slumped-over drunk and another is merely incoherent. The other two are engaged in conversation.
Bro 1: “So for, like, most of last year I was just getting huge.”
Bro 2: “You mean like in a good way?”
Bro 1: “No, brah, not in a good way. I was eating chicken parm, like, three times a day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
Bro 2: “That’s too much chicken parm, brah.”
Bro 1: “Yeah brah, but then it got, like, even worse, because I went on vacay, and you know when you’re on vacay you just let yourself go, right? But ever since I got back from vacay, I’ve been crushing it… is that a fucking meteor?”
(A substantial meteor streaks across the northern sky)
Bystander: “Yep, that was a meteor.”
Bro 1: “You’re not shitting us, are you, brah?”
Bystander: “…no.”
——
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
