FRIDAY: >> At 11 a.m. today or noon tomorrow, grab the kids and a box or twelve of tissues and head down to the National Archives for a screening of An American Tail. Part of their celebration of Jewish American Heritage Month, they're sharing the story of Fivel and his cheese-paved streets with the next generation. We can only assume they'll watch it over and over like we did, each time hoping Fivel doesn't go... more ›

>> Tomorrow D.C. United players will be sporting special maroon jerseys in honor of Virginia Tech. After the game, all 18 shirts will be signed by a player and auctioned, with the proceeds going to the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund which provides assistance to victims and their families along with grief counseling and other "comfort expenses". >> Tax hikes may force Trimper Rides, one of the oldest businesses in Ocean City, to close shop.... more ›

>> Okay, not technically voting news, but we're convinced that Britney Spears is filing for divorce today in order to sway the elections in some manner. Perhaps going on a campaign of "Don't Marry Total Effing Idiots"? [TMZ]

>> Robocalling — the new hotness? Over on his personal blog, DCist Tom explains just how it's done — and just how easy it is to do. Please don't try this at home. Seriously. [Manifest Density]

>> Representation: a right that even those in remote Tajik villages get to have. Meanwhile, here in D.C., we just get to sit around and be bitter. [SueAndNotU]

>> The GOP — could they possibly, POSSIBLY, be realizing the fact that the same sex marriage ban is completely and utterly embarrassing, humiliating, and totally stupid, amongst many other adjectives we could think of? Ehhh...probably not. [piece of ass]

>> Want to feel all inspired and patriotic? Check out the hundreds of "I Voted" pictures floating around on Flickr. It'll give you the warm and fuzzies. [Flickr]

>> Tired of the status quo here in D.C.? It may be a bit too late now, but consider a write-in campaign for a candidate who recommends that "Smith Point should be fire bombed." Sounds good! But on the other hand, he believes North Cleveland Park is a neighborhood. [Rock Creek Rambler]

>> We've been hearing that "I voted" stickers aren't being handed out at some polling places in the city. Which, outrage. Maybe that's what happened to the man in Pennsylvania who destroyed a voting machine with a metal cat statue. Which is the awesomest sentence we've typed in a long time. [Wonkette]

Photo from Flickr user hey-helen more ›

>> D.C. Board of Education Vice President Carolyn Graham enjoys making cartoon dress-up dolls on the Internet while at work. But really guys, who doesn't? [Yeas and Nays] >> The bloggers at Free Darko join Deadspin in talking about our very own Agent Zero. "More bottomless riddle than one-note lightweight," indeed. [Deadspin] >> After being profiled in the illustrious New York Times, the Capital Club decides it's not so illustrious after all. [Wonkette] >> Mayor-to-be... more ›

Editor's Note: Over the next two weeks, DCist will be bringing you a veritable onslaught of coverage of the first annual Capital Fringe Festival, which kicks off today. Here, we share with you our critic's take on The Worst President Ever, which we caught last month before its festival premiere — check back in regularly for more crucial Capital Fringe info as the Festival unfolds.. Oppressive acronyms. Mary Cheney. Ann Coulter. Britney Spears. These are... more ›

WEDNESDAY: more ›

The sports world is alive with the story of old favorites returning to their former haunts. Even as our new and fresh-faced colleagues at Bostonist contend with the time-travelling brain-melt that is Antoine Walker returning to the Celtics after a year-plus sojourn in Tejas and the ATL, we at DCist are just now getting the news that the Redskins front office is in deep trade talks themselves, 2003 style. more ›