MONDAY >> Not really into the whole Christmas Eve thing? Jewmongous is Sean Altman from Rockapella (of “Carmen Sandiego” fame) and “What I Like about Jew” who will be offering humorous Christmas Eve odes including “They Tried To Kill Us (We Survived, Let's Eat),” and “Taller Than Jesus,” at Jammin Java in Vienna. $20, 7 p.m. and 9:30 (two shows). >> The music played by the DJs at the South African Christmas Eve party......

If you really must attend a holiday concert, make it something musicologically interesting. In what has become an annual tradition (see the 2005 and 2006 installments), the Folger Consort is presenting the most appealing and satisfying Christmas concert in the city. More than just a concert, it is a staged production of the Second Shepherds' Play, an English mystery play from the Towneley cycle. Director Mary Hall Surface began by modernizing the play's Middle English......

Jim Bowden has been a busy man this offseason. Since we last left the Nationals, they have acquired outfielder Elijah Dukes, infielder Aaron Boone, pitcher Tyler Clippard, and catcher Paul Lo Duca. They have also signed outfielder Wily Mo Pena to a one year deal. Betting that he can't possibly have two horrible years in a row, the Nats have also signed outfielder Ryan "more strikeouts than total bases" Langerhans to a one year deal.......

Reverend Billy and his Church of Stop Shopping are of the opinion that the masses have an opiate other than religion. And if it's the merchandise that keeps us in line, then there is no time of year when we binge on our fix of choice like the holiday season. Bank accounts and credit card statements across the nation can do the testifying for us on this point. And so it is at the most......

In Trader Jim's first move of the off-season, the Nationals have traded catcher Brian Schneider and outfielder Ryan Church to the Mets for outfielder Lastings Milledge. Milledge batted .272 last year with 7 HRs, 29 RBIs, .341 OBP and .446 slugging, though he only accumulated 184 at-bats. Church had similar averages last year, but with almost 300 more at-bats only had 8 more homeruns and 41 more RBIs. Schneider only hit .235 last year, with......

MONDAY: Peter J. Gomes, pastor of Harvard’s Memorial Church, will be at Politics and Prose to read from his book The Scandalous Gospel of Jesus. Gomes believes Christians should be heeding the messages of Jesus, not objectifying the man. 7 p.m. TUESDAY: Washington Post literary critic Michael Dirda wants you to know it's OK to love Fowler's Modern English Usage. How else would you learn that the "n" in damning, when it means "fatally conclusive,"......

Good morning, Washington. Have a good Halloween? We have to admit, this year's midweek scheduling kind of put a damper on the holiday's opportunities for costumed revelry. It didn't stop us from eating a ridiculous amount of candy, though. Naturally, we feel that the children are to blame: if more kids had stopped by we wouldn't be stuck with this glut of chocolate and dearth of willpower. Perhaps this is why our childhood neighbors......

Gothamist learned about the craziest urban nightmare come true: A huge python found in the bathroom pipes. It was also a nightmare for some Yankees fans, as manger Joe Torre declined to come back and manage the Bronx Bombers. At least the city's attempt to give some direction to subway riders was interesting, pranksters went shirtless at the Fifth Avenue Abercrombie & Fitch and the I Heart Brooklyn Girls calendars came out. And just......

Brooklyn's A Place to Bury Strangers jumped from loudest band no one had ever heard of to the buzz on every music blog's lips in the space of a couple of months. Credit may be largely due to a Pitchfork review of a record in such limited release that most folks probably couldn't even get their hands on it at the time the review was posted. Their label quickly made more copies available, got the......

Jason Campbell couldn't miss, the defensive line looked like a wrecking crew, Carlos Rogers actually intercepted a pass (and returned it for a touchdown!), and Baby Jesus announced his preference for Joe Gibbs over Jon Kitna in a beating of the Detroit Lions so savage that Daniel Snyder had plenty of free time to stop worrying about the state of his football team, and start worrying about how the rides from his terrible theme parks......

How bad can it be to be Nick Lowe? That shock of fluffy white hair notwithstanding, the guy seems like he doesn’t know what stress is. The onetime Brinsley Schwartz pub-rocker, seminal Stiff Records producer, and punk pioneer releases albums at a glacial pace. He enjoys critical respectability coupled with the kind of low-level semi-fame that comes from being known more for your songwriting and production work than for your singing. In addition to manning......

Protest over national vs. regional chains, the never-ending debate over the place of cars and bicycles in our metropolises, professional sports scandals, remembering a solemn day, and being issued a search warrant - it all happened across our sites this week! Another banner week at Chicagoist started off with daily reports from food writer Lisa Shames on her attempt to eat only locally grown and raised foodstuffs all week as part of a farmers market......

Since we last left the Nationals, the team has gone 4-3 and pulled itself out of last place in the NL East. They are one win away from 63, and thus avoiding the humiliation of triple digit loses this year. They are also nine wins from tying last year's total. These are the metrics we have to use to judge a team that wasn't really competing for the post-season anyway (during the pre-season, Vegas......

The Ponys play the Black Cat Backstage tonight with Jay Reatard. $10, Doors at 9 p.m. The Ponys are one of those buzz bands that seem perennially plagued with the “next big thing” tag. Hailing from Chicago, a city full of legends of all sorts and more than a few hype-worthy up-and-comers, theirs is a difficult task. But 2006's Turn the Lights Out picked up where Celebration Castle left off and took it one step......

When you find yourself cupping the balls of a bull, you know your life has taken a turn for the weird. At least, that's what Stephanie Garibaldi found after spending time in a Mayan village, just after deciding Ivy League College was not for her. Garibaldi's is one of four stories involving faith and self-discovery showcased in Chocolate Jesus. The work is performed by regulars from SpeakeasyDC, a monthly storytelling night featuring seasoned regulars and......

A flurry of frantic, angry emails began around 6 p.m. last night on the Cleveland Park Listserve and moved seemingly all over town by 8 p.m. It was the end of civilization as we know it! A catastrophe of epic proportions! Alert the National Guard! The Uptown Theater might be closing! Thankfully, cooler heads have now prevailed. Turns out the rumor got started because the Jews for Jesus outfit McLean Bible Church put up......

Thank god for the Capital Fringe Festival. The event, now in its second year, makes sure that our July isn’t totally barren when it comes to edgy, exciting theater. We’ll be giving you a more detailed report on what the Fringe has to offer this year (hint: Avenue Q and Harry Potter parodies, Chocolate Jesuses and an operatic Lysistrata are among the choices), but here’s what the less fringified theaters around here will be up......

>> All you area students who planned on holding up provocative signs at your next high school event: think again. The Supreme Court ruled "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" was out of line, and that high schools are free to punish students in order to regulate their speech. Do you think "The Vice-President is in the Legislative Branch" would fly? It's no less ridiculous. [WaPo] >> Foxhall Road will be a mess of construction for......

FRIDAY: >> DCist favorites The French Kicks are at the Rock and Roll Hotel tonight with The Childballads (the Bon Savants cancelled). $13, 9:30 p.m. >> Exotic Fever Records is keeping the spirit of the D.C. underground scene alive almost singlehandedly, and this weekend they'll celebrate their seven year anniversary with an ecclectic festival to showcase their artists. Tonight it's Mass Movement of the Moth, New Idea Society, Den of Thieves, Kathy Cashel, Worn In......

Decades later, Ted Neely, original star of the movie version of Jesus Christ Superstar, is still playing the title role in the national tour of the show, performed this weekend at Wolf Trap. From the moment he steps on stage, it's clear the man is more than comfortable in the robes he's been donning for years. But his portrayal of Jesus starts off a little subdued, his voice a bit more traditional musical theater than......

It's a weird month when you've got no Broadway tours hitting Warner or National, but still can easily fit in four musicals. And if you're not a song and dance man (or woman), there's always three versions of Hamlet to choose from. Welcome to June in D.C. theater! Here are the highlights: About those musicals: Lloyd Webber descends upon D.C., with Kennedy Center staging The Phantom of the Opera (June 20) and Wolf Trap hosting......

Ponder this one for a minute: Now that official online voting is open, if you had to select the Nats representative for the ’07 All Star game based on the team's first 52 games, who would it be? No National appears in the top five at any position in the early voting results, which is indicative of both the nature of the voting as a popularity contest and of the Nats' subpar 21-31 record.......

Yesterday we attended the press preview for next month's 5th annual SILVERDOCS AFI/Discovery Channel Documentary Festival and got a sneak peak at a few of the documentary films that will be making their Washington area (and in some cases World or North American) premieres at the Silver Spring festival in June. DCist will be covering the festival once again this year, but in the meantime we thought we'd share a handful of the 100 announced......

We were rubbing our eyes last Sunday as we watched the Nationals sweep the Florida Marlins to win their first series of the year. Then they took 3 of 4 from the Braves and knocked them out of first place in the NL East, and now we’re asking ourselves, “Who the hell are these guys?” With only two of their regular starters hitting over .250 and none of them within shouting distance of .300, they......

Spring is when we get busy here in the Ist-A-Verse. Very busy. But, after staying bundled-up indoors all winter, it's nice for us to be out, about, and collecting things to write about for you. Here's a glimpse at what's been keeping your favorite citybloggers busily away from home and out of bed. For LAist, strong winds attacked LA on the same day the Feds raided the Crips. Not to fear, though: the Japanese version......

MONDAY >> The week kicks off with a smorgasbord of indie fare at Warehouse. New York singer-songwriter Peter Silberman, aka The Antlers, emotes Jeff Buckley-style, while Richmond garage rockers A Roman Holiday dabble in death metal, with a visit from their labelmates, Illinois screamo duo The Midwestern. $10, 9:30 p.m. >> This is one of their last gigs before they join TV on the Radio for a nationwide tour, so come catch San Francisco hip......

Is Jean-Yves Thibaudet the classical pianist being overshadowed by Thibaudet the media sensation? His recent recordings have included arrangements of opera melodies, excerpts of film soundtracks, jazz, as well as more classical fare. His concert attire is designed by Vivienne Westwood, and he has homes in Paris and, of course, Los Angeles. In a recital sponsored by Washington Performing Arts Society Saturday afternoon at the Kennedy Center, Thibaudet had the chance to show Washingtonians that......

In their first feature film, Unknown (which opened at the E Street Cinema on Friday), director Simon Brand and screenwriter Matthew Waynee demonstrate that they have absorbed the lessons of thrillers like Reservoir Dogs, True Romance, Memento, Pi, Sixth Sense, and The Usual Suspects. That is, a thriller's thrill comes from delaying the audience's understanding of the real circumstances and motivations of the characters as long as possible. If the screenplay can keep the characters......

The concert started with a guy in a leather speedo tearing off another guy's head, fake blood spurted high in the air and all over the crowd. No, not Belle and Sebastian. The offenders were the costumed monstrosities in GWAR, who brought their ridiculous stage show and very loud metal to the 9:30 Club on Sunday. Most of the interior of the club was wrapped in plastic in preparation for what would occur - besides......

As clubgoers stood in line outside the 9:30 Club on a chilly Monday night, a car slowed and eventually came to a stop. Down came the window and two girls yelled out, "Who's playing tonight?" "The Deftones," came a response. "What do they sound like?" "They're heavy," shot back a fan. That's about as good as you can get in describing the Deftones without getting too far into mixed genre terminology -- they're heavy. The......