My baby loves a bunch of authors, but this week, it’s all about the holiday, and our dedicated men and women of letters deserve a chance to be home with their families, enjoying what is now the mid-point of the Christmas season and elevating their tryptophan levels.

MONDAY
Did you know that in 2007, our very own Kennedy Center will be mobilizing local, national, and international forces to bring DC a six-month long, no holds barred, all stops pulled Shakespeare Festival unprecedented in scope? Well, now’s the time to start brushing up your iambic pentameter. Get a leg up by joining Peter Ackroyd at the Folger Shakespeare Library tonight at 7:30pm as he discusses his Shakespeare: The Biography. 201 E. Capitol St. SE., at 7:30 p.m. $15. (202) 544-7077.

TUESDAY
Privatization. Such a delicious holiday topic. Politics and Prose hosts Si Kahn and Elizabeth Minnich as they discuss their book, The Fox and the Henhouse. The title gives you a clear idea where they stand on the issue, though we find the metaphor to be a little forced. Unless of course, Halliburton is eating oil nowadays. If so, that’s really wrong. 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW., at 7 p.m.

WEDNESDAY
Just how hot is Eleanor Herman’s book Sex With Kings: 500 Years of Adultery, Power, Rivalry, and Revenge? So damned hot that they had to host the reading at a freaking airport. Get all het up with history at the Olsson’s at National Airport’s Terminal C. Only two carry-ons permitted, so pack judiciously. 11:00a.m.

SATURDAY
Sleeping on air mattresses. Smelly uncles. The Garden State Parkway. Salmonella from undercooked turkeys. After these holidays are over, you might have a few of Life’s Little Annoyances to bitch about. Ian Urbina lends a sympathetic ear at Politics and Prose, 6:00p.m.

SUNDAY
Hey, did you ever wonder about how well prepared our government is in preventing The Next Attack? Well, according to Daniel Benjamin and Steven Simon, we’re not. So totally not. Take cover under a table at Politics and Prose and hear all about it. Oh…and, Happy Holidays, everybody! 5p.m.