We’ve gotten a steady stream of emails telling us this is something we just have to promote and cover. And since we’re suckers for being told what to do, we shall.

The Iditarod is an Alaskan tradition, a brutal 1,000 mile dog-sled race across barren territory that tests the wits and strength of both human and dog. Seeing that the District doesn’t have the climate or the hardy souls to host its own Iditarod-style race, we’re going to have to settle for a less taxing, though more amusing alternative — the Idiotarod.

The Idiotarod takes after its Alaskan counterpart, though there are no dogs, no sleds and no real life-threatening feats of strength and determination. Instead, teams of six people navigate a shopping cart from location to location — bars — and on to the finish. Five people on the team pull their cart, one person rides.