Marion Barry must be breathing a sigh of relief. Screw that — he must be ready to throw himself a huge party full of, well, you know.

Barry dodged 18 months in prison this morning for six years of evading his taxes, sentenced instead to three years of probation and $246,000 in back taxes, not to mention interest and penalties. He will also have to submit to regular drug tests, so gone might be his better days on the District’s party scene. The Post described the scene in the courtroom, where Barry apologized to the judge for his actions:

“To this court, I apologize,” Barry said in a low voice that nevertheless carried throughout the packed but silent federal courtroom. “Deeply sorry. To the citizens of the District of Columbia, I apologize.”

But more than that, Barry painted himself as a man of God:

He described himself as a Christian who believes in forgiveness, and he reminded the court of the verses in the Book of Matthew, chapter 18, when Paul asks how many times a person should be forgiven, and Jesus answers “70 times seven.”

We don’t want to point this out, Marion, but Jesus’ forgiveness isn’t infinite. Reading the passage literally, he only said forgiveness should be granted 490 times — and you’ve already used up a good chunk of those.

Stay strong, Marion, but first try and stay clean.