Heat several thousand half-naked suburbanites and tattooed hipsters in a few D.C. city blocks. Slowly add two local bands until the overpriced Bud Light kicks in and the flashing ensues. Cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Add remaining reemerging mainstream artists from the last decade and mash-up well. Then Smell My Face.

Saturday marked the 2006 DC 101 Chili Cook-Off, sponsored by the National Kidney Foundation. And while I’m sure many kidneys were saved from the proceeds of the all-day music festival and chili competition, a great many healthy livers were destroyed. With gates opening at 11, and no other set times announced prior to the show, as far as we could find, the crowd got there early and already well on their way to a drunken day of chili and rock.