With the first half of the 2006 season in the books, it’s time to reach deep into the bag of sportswriting gimmickry and pull out some mid-season hardware for our own amusement. With the team on pace to lose 95 games, many sad moments have defined the season thus far, but there are a few bright spots in there. So without further ado, DCist proudly presents the Superfluous All-Star Break Awards of 2006:

The FEMA Award:
Created for former FEMA director Mike Brown, this award honors GM Jim Bowden for taking a troubled organization with conflicting priorities and boldly leading them to a last place finish. Like the most experienced of government bureaucrats, Bowden realized early on that a good relationship with the Lerners and Stan Kasten outweighed any on-the-field performance, and was rewarded with the permanent GM job a few weeks ago. Heckuva job, Bowdie!

Best Impersonation of Al Pacino:
By now you know all about Ryan Zimmerman. The cool character stabbing would-be doubles at third base. The calm demeanor beyond his years that commands Corleone-esque respect. The flair for the dramatic climax. With many of the veterans seemingly on the trading block, it shouldn’t be long before Zimmerman takes over the Family Business.