On Wednesday we reported that the Nation’s Triathlon, set to take place tomorrow, suddenly became a duathlon when city officials forbade participants from swimming in the Potomac River, as was planned. Today WJLA breaks down exactly why the swimming segment was, uhhhh, dumped:

[D.C. Police Chief] Ramsey rejected the swim permit for the triathlon after the D.C. Department of the Environment raised concerns about the level of human waste dumped into the river after it rains. Officials say the water is safe some days but registered far above EPA limits for human fecal matter on other days. Triathlon organizer Charles Brodsky says his group has tested the water every six days and found it safe. But city officials say those tests were flawed.

You’re truly a king among men, Chief Ramsey. While participants are no doubt bummed with the news, not swimming in a steaming river of human feces sounds a-ok with us.