There’s a new threat stalking the metropolitan area. No, not MySpace predators, tainted pet food or exploding manhole covers. It’s far worse than that: it’s cheerleaders. Specifically, scam-artist cheerleaders.

NBC4 provides the details. Apparently 19 year-old Tasha Mitchell is in the habit of going door to door pretending to be the lead cheerleader for a local high school. She uses the ruse to solicit checks from credulous residents. There’s no indication of exactly how she gets the residents to make out the checks to her instead of the school, but we wouldn’t be at all surprised if it involved a sob-story about getting cheated by Sparky Polastri. It’s likely that overall perkiness also plays a factor.

Perhaps this is an unfair smear on a sport that’s merely stupid, dangerous and sexist. After all, there’s no indication that Ms. Mitchell is familiar with round-offs, broken high Vs, table tops or anything else about being a cheerleader. But the peppy tenacity she shows for her craft indicates that she might make a good one: the NBC4 article says that she’s gotten busted for the same routine nearly a half-dozen times, including once just three days before her most recent arrest in Fairfax.

The article also warns that there’s a young guy going around soliciting donations for nonexistent lacrosse teams, so don’t rely on the absence of a cheerleading backstory as proof that you’re not getting scammed. All in all, this is just another reason never to give money to charitable high school causes under any circumstances, no matter what. Well, except maybe the dance team — let’s face it, they deserve your pity.

Image adapted from an image by Danton pix, used under a Creative Commons license