>> You’ve got tomorrow off, so put on your dancing shoes and head over to a special holiday edition of Taint, the popular electro/indie gay (but not that gay, straight folks are always welcome) dance night at DC9. Doors at 9, $5.

>> Controversial cyclist Floyd Landis will defend himself against doping charges tonight when he discusses his new book, Positively False at Politics and Prose. 7 p.m.

>> Asylum celebrates American independence from the monarchy the only way they know how: with the Star-Spangled Slam-Her, an all-ladies Jell-O wrestling contest for up to $500 in cash prizes. Ladies looking to compete should send an email to jello@asylumdc.com, and plan to get there early in costume, preferably something both wrestling and patriotically-themed. The contest begins at 7 p.m.

>> Why not celebrate the day before our independence with a fake French band? Les Sans Culottes, which translates to “those without knee-breeches” and references the French revolution, sing pseudo-French pop and speak in Pepe Le Pew-ish fake accents. They visit the Black Cat backstage tonight, along with Palomar‘s well-received three girl-one guy power pop. Unfortunately, atmospheric locals Bellflur canceled. $8, 9 p.m.

Andrew Wiseman contributed. Photo by mghnnshinners.