» A survey of “facial workouts” and other nu-spa treatments that can be had in Georgetown in exchange for vast sums of money. A clue as to what $5,500 got Elliott Spitzer? [Express]

» An 80-year-old man used a pellet gun to keep this Nordic ogre at bay. [NBC 4]

» Galaxy Hut acquires music licenses with ASCAP and BMI, will stage karaoke on the first Sunday of each month. “Let’s get stupid!” says Galaxy Hut’s Lary. [Forwarded email]

» District government tax-refund checks for $9,831 fall under the heading of economic overstimulation. [City Desk]

» Taryn McNeil revels in the absolute authority afforded by her role as Metro movie-rights czar. Unlimited power! Eh. [Washington Post]

» Safeway and Giant employees avoid strike. Service and supply at Soviet Safeway in no way affected, though it would admittedly be hard to tell. [Washington Post]

» Homeowners’ hopes dashed by the WaPo. Well, not exactly. But homeowners’ dashed hopes now documented exhaustively and searchable by a variety of criteria! [Washington Post Housing Outlook 2008]

» Metro to sell special $9 “Mass Pass” for Emperor Palpatine’s upcoming visit to Nationals Stadium. [Pope Watch]

» District totally better off after 29-year-old attorney and criminal pervert Adam Bryant was ensnared by a Fairfax County sting in which a detective placed a bogus ad on Craigslist selling sex with his 13-year-old daughter. How did that escape a flag from the CL community? [WJLA]

» Thanks for letting me play DCist today, all. Special thanks to ‘ists Amanda and Heather for their help.

YouTube clip courtesy of Pop Cesspool