Bonjour, our sublime commentariat. It’s time to call roll on our favorites from your last week of home-cooked pronouncements.

The D.C. Council might want to allow “lunatics” to marry, but Timmy Tucker thinks the language just needs some small modifications to bring it up to date. Thankfully, he decided to share these suggestions with us – it’s our Comment of the Week:

I think the legal definition of “lunatic” should be derived from it’s original application. That is:

Lunatic -lu·na·tic- noun: one who is affected with periodic insanity, dependent on the changes of the moon, thus causing them to cease walking while on the left hand side of the metro escalator, when emerging from the Metro system and being confronted with the moon. Other common afflictions of “lunatics” include irrational merging while driving one’s horseless carriage on I-395, and paying $20 to visit the Newseum.

After the jump: fireworks, Jan and Dean tributes, and your lengthy additions to our ways not to be that intern.

Photo by noahdevereaux.