John Powers is hilarious. First of all, John Powers isn’t his real name. It’s the alter-identity local bartender and drummer Trae Lamond takes on when he steps out from behind the drum kit to play his absurd and silly songs with a guitar in his hands. Strumming out single notes in a steady rhythm, it’s more of a hair-rock comedy show than a concert. But it’s a hell of a lot of fun. If Weird Al and Glen Danzig had a baby, it would be John Powers (and, a medical miracle).

My personal favorite John Powers song is “Fat Guy Pizza Party”, which is about deciding not to go out drinking and instead stay in to order a pizza and play some PS3. John Powers is playing tomorrow night at The Red & The Black, with San Francisco’s excellent Low Red Land and Theorycast.

We sent the man, the myth, the pseudonym a few questions via email about his style and his fictional life. He responded in all-caps, and while normally we’d re-type responses of this kind into less obnoxious, normal writing, in this case, it would take something away from John Powers’ answers to do so.

Who is John Powers?
JOHN POWERS IS A COMPLEX MAN. HE ENJOYS ALL THINGS MANLY, LIKE FIGHTING, BOOZING, ADULTERATING, AND FIGHTING. WHAT HE WANTS, HE TAKES. JOHN POWERS LIVES HIS LIFE BY THE CODE OF THE SCORPION… HE DON’T TAKE SHIT FROM NO ONE.

What is John Powers’ favorite song, that’s not by John Powers?
HAIR OF THE DOG, BY NAZARETH.

Where did John Powers learn to play music?
AT YOUR MOTHER’S HOUSE.

HE BOUGHT A GUITAR ON CRAIGSLIST AND SMOKED WEED UNTIL IT ALL MADE SENSE.

What’s your songwriting process, John Powers?
FIRST I TAKE DOWN ABOUT A LITER OF OLD GRANDDAD BOURBON. THEN I DECIDE ON SOMETHING THAT I HATE/LOVE (ex: CHEATING BITCHES/TRUCKS). FINALLY, I PICK UP THE GUITAR, STRUM A LITTLE, AND MAKE SOME WORDS RHYME. IT’S PRETTY STANDARD.