We tragically didn’t make it down to the ESPN Zone today for the official unveiling of the new Screech mascot by the Washington Nationals. For a full accounting of how the event went down, head to the Sports Bog. In the meantime, check out this Fox 5 video below for the new Screech in action (we’d recommend going ahead and turning the sound off).

The official line is that the Nats always promised Screech would grow up one day—the previous incarnation was meant to be more of a baby eagle, apparently—so this is a taller, leaner, more mature eagle. We’re willing to stipulate that Screech needed a little something (maybe just a bath? The consensus over the last season was that his feathers had turned gray because they were just absolutely filthy), but uh, hmm. This new Screech just looks like a baseball player wearing an eagle mask. There’s nothing cute, cuddly or fun about him. He’s not creepy exactly, he’s just sort of … awkward and boring. What say you?