It’s Memorial Day weekend, which means an official start to the summer season, open public swimming pools, white shoes for the ladies and just about the time we at DCist switch our official weather commentary policy from “F**k the cold” to “F**k the heat.” (Davy DCist will have plenty to say this summer; trust me.) It’s looking to be a lovely weekend, though, so whether or not you’re heading out of town, make sure to enjoy it. And read DCist. A lot. Most of us will be prying ourselves from our keyboards and trying to develop something approaching a tan, but we’ve made sure to chain someone to the computer to bring you news, commentary and pictures galore.

District Gets Aggressive With Parking Tickets: Everyone hates parking tickets, but we all may hate them just a little bit more over the next year — there’s bound to plenty more for all of us. The Post reports on the District’s expanded and newly aggressive ticketing program, which will include cameras on street sweepers that will yield an additional 237,000 tickets in 2010 (about $7 million in revenue) and 45 new parking control officers — a 25 percent increase — that will dump $12.6 million annually into city coffers. Added to a recent increase in on-street parking rates in certain parts of the city, many motorists are crying foul. City officials defend the move and deny that they’re merely looking to close budget gaps.

Seriously, the Potomac Isn’t For Swimming: Looking beyond the fact that it’s hopelessly polluted, the Potomac River provides a serene backdrop for the hustle and bustle of daily life in the District. But it’s just not for swimming. Local officials are reminding local residents to not be fooled by how peaceful the river may look — it’s known for a strong and dangerous current. The Examiner reports that the 22 river-related incidents so far this year — including the recent drowning of an 11-year-old boy and the man who tried to rescue him — have put park and river officials on high alert.

No Adam and Steve Weddings for District: Sommer hit it up yesterday, but it’s worth being reminded how useless some members of Congress can really be. A small band of know-it-all conservatives have introduced legislation that would define marriage in the District as being between a man and a woman. Ugh.

Briefly Noted: Maryland bans cell phone use in state-owned vehicles … Shocker of the day — traffic to be extra terrible today and tomorrow … Two D.C. detectives pulled from duty during overtime fraud investigation … Wal-Mart looks to build Supercenter near Civil War battlefield in Virginia.

This Day in DCist: On this day in 2008 we reported that District residents would get a say in who would grace the city’s commemorative quarter and Tenleytown was declared the District’s rat hotspot of the year. In 2007, we kept our eye on some Shiloh Baptist Church’s many condemned properties in Shaw.

Picture snapped by Schodts