Photo by philliefan99.

I’ve met some opinionated people in my life, and if there’s anything to be learned from those experiences, it’s that universally-accepted truths are difficult to come by. Humans are an argumentative breed, whether that’s Coke against Pepsi, East Coast versus West Coast, The Sex Pistols or The Ramones. We’ve got preferences. It’s what makes us unique beings.

That said, I’ve never met anyone — and I mean anyone — who prefers artificial turf over natural grass on a sporting field. (Artificial turf salesmen need not apply.) There’s just something inherently wrong about the stuff; kind of like the Star Wars prequels or non-alcoholic beer, turf stains something that’s pure and good. Sure, back in the seventies, the stuff was all the rage; but hey, we often make mistakes, even collectively. The important thing is that we move on. But try telling that to a collective of three Montgomery County high schools, who have decided (you fools!) to invoke the wrath of the sporting gods and convert acceptable grass athletic fields to the fake stuff.

Why? Well, the always-popular “turf is less expensive, except for the installation, the eventual replacement, and the cost to our authenticity” argument is certainly involved. But school officials also contend that the new surfaces will create “more playing time for more teams.” I’m not quite sure how that works geometrically, but sure, once half the players have to sit out with turf toe and blown-out knees, there will be plenty more chance for other kids to play. Awesome!

Besides, I’m sure playing on a surface which has been known to potentially reach 173 degrees won’t have any effect on games whatsoever. C’mon, MontCo, do the right thing and stick with the grass — I bet you’ll have a hard time finding someone who would disagree.