“According to the National Retail Federation, Americans spend an average of $130 on Mother’s Day. This year, they will spend an average of $90.89 for Dad today,” or so notes the Post in said article. But the real, uh, “highlight” of the report is not said statistics, nor is it the familiar economic analysis about how families are spending less this year on gifts than they would normally. It’s the quotes from various sources which lead one to believe that most fathers in this country are either a) automatons incapable of feeling emotion or, b) you know, just not as “demanding” as women are when it comes to asking for material gifts.

Sure, it’s fluff journalism at its finest, but how about this gem from a greeting card representative: “We often tend to shy away from engaging in sentimentality in cards for Dad.”

Maybe this one tingles your spine? “My theory of why you would spend more money on Mother’s Day goes back to the whole cliche of women being more demanding.” Oof.

It’s appropriate that the greatest nugget of wisdom in the entire story comes from a seventh-grader, who said, “I think it’s important to recognize dads on Father’s Day, because a lot of people don’t give their parents enough credit.”

Nice work, kid. Now go give your Dads a call, people; regardless of what some greeting card-pusher thinks, he’ll appreciate it. (Just leave out the part about how you thought about buying him a note from the “Dad Having a Difficult Year” section. It’s probably a good idea to just keep that to yourself.)

Photo by soleil1016.