Here’s Jim Zorn, thinking about what kind of bullet points his resume should have. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

Lions 19, Redskins 14: “It was one that got away from us,” said Jason Campbell.

Uh, you think?

The understatement of the year aside, for some, this loss was the cherry on top of one of the most terrible, horrible, no good, very bad years in the history of D.C. professional athletics; for others, it’s just another sad chapter under the reign of Dan Snyder and his evil army of the night.

Before you all go jump off a bridge (too late?), let’s put some stuff into perspective: it wasn’t like the Lions put a beating on the Redskins or anything. The ‘Skins had 390 yards of offense, which is solid. Santana Moss finally had the kind of game that big-time receivers are supposed to have: 10 catches, 178 yards, and a touchdown. Jason Campbell — who always seems to bring out the haters, no matter what he does — was 27-41 for 340 yards and two TDs against only one pick, perfectly adequate numbers. And hey, the Lions had to win sometime; it just so happened that it was against the Redskins — if you’re having trouble coping, just remember: these types of stomach punches are kinda what make sports so good. The masochistic relationship we have with teams which make the high of winning feel that much better.

So where are Skins fans to place their justifiable ire?

Well, Clinton Portis, ankle injury or not, looked washed up — he hasn’t had a really good game on the field since Week 12 of 2008. Tackling was severely lacking yesterday afternoon (although injuries to Carlos Rogers, Brian Orakpo and Albert Haynesworth didn’t help). And why didn’t any of the players on the final hook-and-ladder play try to get out of bounds?

But come on, we all know where the blame for this loss is going to rightfully be placed.

Head coach — for now — Jim Zorn said afterwards, “When you watch [the Lions] on tape, they’re as capable as anyone in the NFL.” The Vikings, Saints, Packers, Colts, Titans, Buccaneers, Panthers, Jaguars, Bears, Texans, 49ers, Falcons, and last year’s team — all teams that beat Detroit at some point over the last 19 weeks of the NFL’s regular season — would probably disagree. But hey, you’re the guy making ridiculous fourth-down calls in the first quarter and making decisions to only rush three against a young quarterback, who is likely to make mistakes under pressure — so who knows what’s going on in that head of yours, Mr. Zorn.

Better start prepping that resume, bucko.

So you say you gave up on the Redskins after last week’s debacle? (Liar.) In that case, other stuff happened yesterday which may appeal to you:

  • Earthquakes 2, United 1: Not a good outing for United, who looked just plain old, got booed (this just doesn’t happen at RFK, people) and put a big dent in their chances of making the MLS playoffs for the second year in a row against one of the worst teams in the league. Thanks to the aforementioned Zorn, United manager Tom Soehn doesn’t have the hottest seat in town — but it’s mighty, mighty hot.
  • Braves 6, Nationals 3: The days keep turning, but the Nationals keep finding ways to lose — although they started strong with back-to-back homers from Adam Dunn and Josh Willingham, closer Mike MacDougal allowed three runs in the top of the tenth to earn his first loss of the season.
  • Capitals 4, Rangers 3: The Caps got four goals from four different scorers to open up a 4-0 lead in the second period, winning their final tuneup before the regular season begins this week. Ex-Cap Donald Brashear also scored for the Rangers.