Photo by Marina Chavez.

Whether you know him from Mr. Show, Bob and David, his stand up, Arrested Development or one of the million other beloved things he’s done in his career, David Cross has whipped up a wide and rabid fan base. He released a book earlier this year, I Drink For A Reason, and is visiting the District this week. Cross recorded 2004’s amazing It’s Not Funny during a 4-night stint in D.C., so we can keep our fingers crossed for more comedic heights on Wednesday night at the Warner Theatre. Tickets are still available for $33.

How did you celebrate Columbus Day?

I rent a large bus and I have some friends on it, and we drive from Columbus, Ohio, to Ann Arbor, Michigan. That’s pretty much how I celebrate it every year. Been doing it since I was a kid.

So like a recreation of the original Columbus voyage.

Yeah, with just a little more death. I try to enslave a couple ten-year-olds, sex slaves, to commemorate what made him such a great explorer.

And the disease? I assume the disease was good.

It was okay. I had to settle for Epstein Barr. It’s not as sexy a disease.

Is it okay to celebrate Columbus Day?

Sure. As far as I know, it isn’t against the law. In fact, I think it’s a federal holiday. So it is okay.

You don’t think there’s anyone more deserving in U.S. history for a federal holiday?

Well, he’s not even in United States history, really. But yeah, of course there are. Pee Wee Reese. Tommy Lasorda, if you just want to stick to Italians. James Gandolfini. Pavlov—he’s not Italian. The guy whose nickname was the Rabbit in the movie, Salesman. I think he should have his own holiday before Columbus.