Rep. Michelle Bachmann, that balrog from the 6th Circle of Minnesota, has summoned her minions to descend upon the Capitol on Thursday, The Hill reports. What should our poor Hellmouth of a federal city expect? Invoking “every one” of Sean Hannity’s viewers is probably a summoning feat too great for even an unholy overlord as powerful as Bachmann, but presuming that she is able to call up even a fraction of Fox’s zombies, the city could be looking at a horde of 9/12ers large enough to seize the Capitol steps. What do they need (beyond braaains)? Freedom from health-care, or something! A suggestion for the visiting undead looking to fit in thematic evening plans: the Kurt Vile show at the Black Cat.