So there you have it, Redskins fans. Dan Snyder apologizes that his team has made your Sundays miserable for the better part of two months. He “feels bad” for you. He’s “embarrassed.” Here’s the man many people are attributing with lead one of this town’s biggest cultural institutions to a slow drive into irrelevance, telling you he’s sorry.

But of course, the only sentiment he’ll get in return is similar expressions of sorrow (and anger, too) from those who will have to suffer through watching this franchise slug through their last nine games against the toughest schedule in the league. And rightfully so.

Alright! Spirits up!

Cavaliers 102, Wizards 90: Or…not. You know, there was a lot of debate about whether or not these two teams hold a true rivalry. That’s a moot point, because when you’re the best player in the league, like LeBron James certainly is, everyone is your rival. That said, things started so fantastic for the Wizards on the road against the Cleveland State Farm Advertisements. Washington had a 14 point lead after the first, and pushed that lead to 16 after a 22-5 run. Caron Butler was outplaying LeBron, getting into double figures in the first ten minutes. And the Wiz were shooting lights out — 55 percent in the first twelve minutes. But then, it all came tumbling down. The Cavs turned up the defensive intensity, a light turned on for Shaq (21 and 8), and they hit nine threes in a dominant second-half performance. Washington, meanwhile, looked completely lost, forcing jumpers and botching offensive plays, leading to quite the top-heavy boxscore. So yeah, you win this round, King James — but don’t worry, we’ll be ready when you, Shaquille O’Comcast, Mad Max, Baldy von Vowel, and whomever else you’ve got visits the Phone Booth in a couple of weeks or so.