Photo by kloppervok!

Good morning, Washington, and welcome back after the long Thanksgiving holiday weekend. We hope you managed to stuff enough turkey and cranberry sauce down your gullets to make the incessant White House crashers story feel like more of a distant memory. I’m all for making sure the Secret Service doesn’t fall down on its job, but learning these reality TV whackos are now asking for half a million dollars to tell their “story,” the whole thing kinda just makes me want to take a shower. That dumb people will do something super tacky and vaguely illegal just to become “famous” isn’t exactly a new feature in our trash-obsessed culture, but isn’t there something especially grotesque about the Salahis? My favorite little tidbit to come out of this story so far: could Michaele Salahi’s real name actually be Michelle Ann Holt Salahi?

This is What it’s Like Trying to Ask Adrian Fenty a Question: Hope you had a chance to read this amazing story by Nikita Stewart and Paul Schwartzman in the Washington Post on Sunday, concerning Mayor Fenty’s brusque governing style. While the entire article, an attempt to tease out whether people just didn’t know what kind of personality (stubborn, rude, obsessive) Fenty really had when they elected him, is worth a thorough read, it’s this amazing quote from the mayor that really hits home the point: ‘During the brief sidewalk interview this month, Fenty rejected the suggestion that moving too quickly can lead to missteps. As a reporter wrote down his remarks, the mayor slowed and dictated even the punctuation of his comment: “When I am in the community, and people are talking about the issues confronting the city, comma, I rarely hear people say, ‘You are moving too fast,’ comma, in fact, more often than not, people are encouraging me to move faster.”‘ As someone who has occasion to ask the mayor questions after a press conference, it’s somewhat reassuring to find I’m not the only reporter he speaks to as if they were five years old.

Smoke ‘Em While You Got ‘Em: Virginia bar and restaurant patrons have but one more night to light up indoors before the state’s smoking ban goes into effect tomorrow. There are plenty of ‘gearing up for the smoking ban’ stories to choose from, but we appreciate the Richmond Times Dispatch for calling into question whether a $25 fine for both customer and bar owner is really much of a deterrent. Fines in the District range from $100 to $1000.

911 Call Takers Got Massages: The people who answer 911 calls have stressful jobs, but is it stressful enough that taxpayers should be buying them massages? Because that’s exactly what we did, writes Michael Neibauer in his roundup of District government agency expenditures in the Examiner. It seems the ‘District’s Office of Unified Communications used its government-issued charge card to buy $900 worth of massages for its staff,’ which happened as part of the OUC’s Employee Appreciation and Wellness Program. The mayor’s office says massages won’t be included in this program again, but frankly, if $900 worth of shoulder rubs would make it so that we hear about fewer bad experiences when calling 911, we’d be happy to pay.

Briefly Noted: Possible misuse of tax funds by Montgomery County employees … MetroAccess drivers rehired after cell phone violations … D.C. police will not fire detective involved in shooting … Prince George’s County firefighters knocked down by back draft explosion.

This Day in DCist: One year ago, Michelle Rhee was on the cover of Time magazine holding a broom.